is it posibble that since we didnt have any relationship for a long period of time, that we actually "closing" our hearts?
i mean i see alot of attractive women around, but it never makes me want to buaya"ing"
or did i raise to a new level and appeariences is no longer an attraction?

it could be hormonal changes or orientation changes

possible, possible. I am in that level now. I don't even bother to "impress" girls around me because i think "in the end, they're not and won't be my gf also"

+1 to what Winkybear said.

A huge part of the problem right now is that your attitude towards the mating game is... well you're completely lost. You don't know what to do, your only experience has been of rejection, and I suppose you wonder if you've anything worth anything at all.

A huge part of "success" in the game of love is just understanding how things work... and things do not need to be complex or difficult if you understand the key issues or gap that you're not seeing right now.

Here's how I may assist you better than a wall of text written in here can

1. If you have friendster or facebook, PM me with it and add me, so that I can see what you look like and tell you if looks really are a problem. I can also offer simple pointers and tips to help you not look generic, if that is the case.

2. You don't have to go clubbing, but you'll still need to show what other qualities you have. I might be able to give you simple pointers and tips you can use to start with.

3. In my opinion, it is never a good idea to offer only stability and security, because women might just make use of you for that. The overwhelming social trend is for women to gain more and more freedom and privileges while men get less and less. You DO stand at a crossroads. If you make the choice to continue whatever you're doing now and not learn in the hope that when you're thirty things magically become better, you may just find at thirty that things are still the same and you're no better off, if not worse.

This is a one time offer.

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Added on October 8, 2009, 2:44 amYou've probably psychologically conditioned yourself to suppress your natural urges. It's always sad when that happens. It means that you've effectively severed the connection between your brain and your testicles.

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Added on October 8, 2009, 2:46 amTrying to "impress" them is always going to suck harder than just being real, but positive thinking really helps. Right now, what you're doing is just shutting out opportunities.

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Oct 8 2009, 02:46 AM

/karate head
you tak bagi harapan la geng
someone told me that my standard, as she might think, is too high, and im being abit picky, and thats the reason im not having a gf
well i told her that im not in a rush, so i dont mind looking for her,
but in the end i think i am closing up.

Such frightening thought

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Added on October 8, 2009, 2:48 am

Connection lost? damn !

This post has been edited by [W]ee[D]: Oct 8 2009, 02:48 AM

It's always harder for introverted guys in male dominated technical industries to get to know as many women as the guys who are extroverted and who work in places with a lot of women. I bet they never told you this in school, did they?

ROFL!

Wine is actually very good. I've never met a girl who doesn't love wine.

Alternative to clubbing and social circles are activity circles, where you hang out and meet with people of a similar interest.

Just about any activity you're interested in can work, plus a certain willingness to broaden your horizons.

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Added on October 8, 2009, 2:52 amLol! Well, what exactly are your standards, and how do you go about finding such a girl?

Solution to re-building the connection = fap more

But not until like this ok

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Added on October 8, 2009, 2:58 amToo despo.

You have to flirt with women first and get the attention the right way before they'll consider you as a boyfriend. Don't give them a quiz and then show them that you're on the lookout for a mate like this. You don't even know them and worse, they don't even know who you are.

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Oct 8 2009, 02:58 AM

Haha, gamers is a good movie.
I dont remember the standard that i mention, but its was just a made up, cuz i sense that girl has a small crush on me, so i made it up to discourage her.
she's pretty and all, but like i said, it didnt "spark"

You don't give her a chance how to spark? Also, it does not sound like u treated her like gentleman ler +_+'

Any way you SHOULD put some thought into what qualities you're looking for in a girl. Try to discover what your subconscious desires and wants are. That will give you some level of self-awareness that will be very useful.

I enjoiced Gamers more than a lot of other movies. Very subversive humor and social commentary. The first time I saw that scene above I actually yelled out "WHAT THE FU.CK!" in the cinema because just watching that scene made me feel so violated. But after watching the show and upon reflection that was a very well made scene. XD

The reason why i, sort of rejected her was, a friend of mine liked her alot, and she was a close friend of mine, we did go to movies once awhile and do food shopping, and i only realised that she liked me when she invited me to eat with her family.
i sort of feel abit sorry for my friend, and i tried to get them both together, and my plan sort of backfired.
He was ready to commit himself to her, and i was not having those feeling for her, so i thought that it would be the best thing for those two to be in a relationship. I remember warning him if he did something to make her sad, i'll break his neck.

4 years has pass, and they are still a couple, and my male friend is planning to get engaged next year with her.

It's just the matter u want it or not.
Sitting at your home and complaining that u dont have a gf will not help u even an inch.
Go out, meet new people. Go shopping malls, try to approach the girls. Go clubs, go doing some outdoor activities.
Other simple method is just browse MySpace.

yesh...you need to attract the girl's attention 1st and make her interested in you for her to think abt pursuing anything with you.

read this if u understand chinese...

http://www.360doc.com/content/090203/17/100578_2450128.html

sometimes guys need to do something for your characteristic to attract girls. DUN keep talk about homey,homey and homey. human shouldnt limit and judge themselve that way, tat is no diff from putting more and more locks on yourself.

talk back to characteristics, some girls could think RICH, HANDSOME are the reasons tat could attract them. actually these are showing that girls always look after for "Better" Person. SOCIAL, TALENT are also could attract them.

Here is a example table to justify will she attracted

if She were RICH 9/10, PRETTY 9/10, SOCIAL 9/10, TALENT 9/10
and You were just RICH 1/10, HANDSOME 1/10, SOCIAL 1/10, TALENT 1/10, this is just simple logic let you understand why girl will not go after you.

P/S:
I also a homey fellow before but end up now i go club go drunk now.
I go club/drunk is to learn to enjoy my life but not chasing chick
Club and get gf is different things.

Life is not only about relationship. Your time will come when the time is right. Cheers!!!

A relationship will come naturally as you open yourself to experience more out of the journey of your life.

The more things that you see on the course of experiencing your life, the more you will know who you are, what you want, the purpose of your life, and ultimately meeting the right person whom you truly want to share your life with your loved one. Only then you shall feel how meaningful the relationship will be and it will earn your a lifetime ticket to a stable and lifelong relationship.

Most importantly is you try to open yourself. The more you open yourself, the lesser you will have "natural stereotyping" tendencies towards girls. Not all girls are bad and not all girls are what you think of, just like guys. No gender is worse or better than the other because in the end they are human beings after all. It is all about complementing each other. The more you open yourself, the more confidence you will have when meeting girls, and the awkwardness will soon disappear and it will be just like another daily routine in your life.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Oct 8 2009, 11:35 AM

ask yourself.

Why you want to have a girlfriend...?

1)because we are men
2)because we are not gay

I was shocked when TS straight-forwardly asked the girl "You have BF already?"

Should take it slow and start as a friend first, you know. Sometimes, go outing alone. Enjoy yourself. Clear your mind.

My father's cousin, 41 year old d, have been into work and work. No GF. No time for love. Or maybe he's lazy to find one instead. One day, news that he's going to married. He 'bought' a Vietnam wife because it was late for his age, i guess. Now they have a child together, and his wife is learning Mandarin to fit in

actually u dont have to care of those comments... i don't think its true..

u'll find ur love 1 day.. she will accept the way u are.

i'm 23 and no gf b4 too.. xD

sounds so cham.. have to resort to money

So Men who still dont have gf is not men and is gay?