1st of all, I would like to apologize if this thread remind you for the lost of your love ones. I havent experience the death of my closest kin yet, but I know, some day, all living things will eventually go to the other world and will not come back forever.

how do you cope with it? will time really heal? how do we accept the fact with a calm mind? why we still cry and sadden although we know death is inevitable?

BTW mod should there is a topic tag for psychology????

This post has been edited by ah_suknat: Aug 27 2009, 01:51 AM

How does one cope? Simple ;

Life is short and precious. What time given here, we do not know when and where we might just snuff it. And then comes the question ;

Has your beloved friend lived his/her life as he/her should? For even you are proof that he/she has, because you can easily say that this person is a loved one. Accept that your loved one is in a better place and know that this person would not want you to harp over something as untimely as death. It happens because it happens, and would you, knowing you left the world behind, want your dearest kin(s) to be caught up in the past moping around over a lost love?

Your cherished ones will always be in there, your heart, watching over you and all those he/she cares about in spirit.

ikete yari suki, Live, enjoy life and live.

My paternal grandmother passed away a few weeks ago.
I w as actually in church when I got news that she had pass away. And to tell you the truth I was quite surprised by the way I felt. I've seen people who have had their grandparents pass away, and I was expecting myself to have the same expression.. but I didnt. I didnt even feel one tiny bit sad.

You might think that I'm a very cold person for not feeling anything when my grandma passed away. But its true, there was no grief, no sadness. Most of my childhood I spent with my grandma (or ah-ma as I called her), and she was a really nice person who cared alot for me, so it wasnt because I wasnt close to her that I didnt feel anything when she passed away.

The reason why I think, I did not feel any grief, is probably because my perception of my grandma was as a strong woman, independent(her husband,my ah-gong, passed away when I was 1), she had no weak points. So I would say she had a good life, and since they say she passed on in her sleep, I actually feel happy for her. I think everyone should be happy for a loved one that has passed away, instead of mourning for them. If they were sickly, death gave them relief. If they were healthy, you should be glad they didnt suffer in life. If they died in an accident, its better than remaining crippled by the accident.

I might be off-topic with this, but I find funerals very wrong. If you are going to gather up all your loved ones when you die, wouldnt you be happier if you had gathered them BEFORE you died? So in essence funerals are ceremonies held, not for the loved one that passed away, but for those remaining who feel guilty they were not there when the loved one was alive.


To answer your questions in simple words.
-By remembering happy times, and believe that in death they have found peace.
-Time will only heal by fading your memories of the person
-Refer to point 1.
-We cry and are saddened because we will miss the person. Its like saying goodbye.. only you wont ever see them again. (if you've broken up with someone you really love, you know what it feels like).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLF-cYFquVQ

Lenka - Live Like You're Dying (with lyrics)

Dreamer

Don't think I will be able to cope. Not yet, at least.

Well to me, different people have different ways to cope with the loss. But one conclusion remains the same, where nobody lives forever. So if you have that embedded in you, I suppose the death of someone close takes a lesser toll on you.

For being sad and crying, I see no harm in those. Its emotions that can't be controlled and instead I feel that somehow it makes you stronger after that. No point surpressing emotions to begin with.

So I guess the most important thing to learn about life is to live life daily to the fullest and without regrets. The same goes to the people you care about. Make part of your life goals to make other people's life a meaningful and regretless one too. In that way, when they leave you one day, you know deep inside that they are ready to leave and rest in peace. Knowing that fact, I guess it'll lighten your grief and a calmer you when the time comes.

all of us simply take things for granted. always have the misconception that all things are eternal . for one who hasnt even reached adulthood like me, i really dont want to imagine what kinda toll it will take on me should 1 of my parents pass away. almost every aspect of life would be affected, namely emotion and finance.

my old ma once said, when someone you loved dearly passed away, u're sad it's not because of the memory that you had of that person, u're sad because of the memories that are suppose be made.

gawd~

i feel like crying. :sob:

anyway,

one main thing that tend to happen when someone lose someone dear,
they adopt an unhealthy habits. anything, alcohols, drugs, smoking, coup up in the room all day..
this must be avoid at all costs, remember there are still people living which u love.

This post has been edited by hako: Sep 2 2009, 10:28 PM

Grief is a natural process that affects everyone differently. Although grieving can be both physically and emotionally draining, the best way to deal with it is to allow oneself to experience it. There are various ways to cope with the extreme stress associated with death.

Tips for coping with death and dying include:

Accept personal feelings. Feelings of sadness, despair, anger, guilt and fear are normal following the loss of a loved one. It is important to take time to express these feelings and not repress them.

Talk with others. Seeking support from caring relatives, friends and other loved ones can help one feel less isolated when coping with the loss of a loved one or one’s own impending death.

Organize personal affairs (in the case of a loved one’s terminal illness or one’s own).

Take time to say goodbye to loved ones in a meaningful way, or to express feelings that were previously unsaid, such as “I love you” or “Please forgive me.” Such words can be especially important at this time.

Incorporate healthy lifestyle habits. Eating a well-balanced, nutritious diet and getting proper exercise and rest are important for coping with grief since it often takes a physical toll on one’s health.

Avoid unhealthy habits. Overeating or excessive food restriction, abusing drugs and/or alcohol, and smoking cigarettes are not healthy ways of coping with grief because these can potentially be hazardous to one’s health.

Postpone major life decisions. If possible, put off making major life changes, such as switching careers or moving to a new home, immediately following the death of a loved one. This can only add stress to an already challenging situation.

Join a support group for people experiencing grief. These groups, which may be in-person or internet-based, provide emotional support and practical coping skills and strategies for individuals experiencing loss. They can also be especially helpful for individuals with limited personal support systems.

Keep a diary or journal. Writing can be tremendously therapeutic for some people while dealing with loss.

Read uplifting articles or books and watch inspiring movies. Engaging in these activities can help relieve tension and improve a person's mood.

we like to hold on to sentiments. once lost and unable to retrieve that same feeling is a loss worth crying over. the act of crying reminds us that we are still human and vulnerable. but, i have yet to cry over a death.

The pain will never go away if LOVED ones leave forever.

You live on the best you can in honor of their shared moments, their love and kindness..

You don't delude yourself with superstition or religious mumbo jumbo about the afterlife, reincarnation, heaven etc..

Those cannot be proven and are just made up to console ourselves that mortality can be overcome, it's just a placebo.

What you leave when you leave is the memory of those you're close to, so if your loved ones left you love, strive to leave love behind when you die.

lets just assume , he/she is moving to another better life for wat she/he deserve . Maybe tat will be lift your pain if u think tat way