This is just a thought .... maybe you have done step 1-5 .....but at one point in time you still have to profess your feeling for her, to SEAL THE DEAL. Maybe you waited to long and when that feeling simmers to long, you get stuck in the BFF zone.

What are the possible meaning when a girl answers "Don't know" to the question of "Does you have a bf ?"

You poor thing. Let her know how you feel la. Still puzzles me why people only have one single perception about letting someone know how you feel by terming it as "confession". The question is not to do or not to do. It is how and when you do it.

I would start but making unmistakable signals. Ask her out, when she says yes, reply "ok, its a date !" Study her reaction. If reaction is positive then continue it. From time to time remind her about not forgetting your date this coming etc... This will slowly sink in. When you guys have been going on for months and she feels comfortable with you, thenlet her know your feelings. I say let her know, not ask her to give you a rely. Just let her know, smile and change the topic or walk away to the fridge or something. Don't put her in the spot. You will get your reply when she is ready.

So who is the man here? You expect her to make the first move and declare her love for you or are you going to be the one to do it first?
Not willing to take risks ?

Interesting point. True, dramatic confessions are stuff of fiction.
Are you familiar with the term of "putting the ball in his/her court" ? Girls are masters in this game. However guys suck at it. Lets do an analogy. For the sake of discussion.

In a game of poker between a guy and a girl.

- the blind and rash action of a spill-your-guts confession would be like surrendering all of the guys chips to the girl right at the start of the game. The girl think, where is the fun in that ? Lose situation.
- the blind and rash action of a grab and kiss her move would be like the guy grabbing all of the girl's chips at the start of the game. Not fun at all might piss the girl off. Lose situation.
- the fun in the game is there is a back and forth exchange. Both parties make their move. Maybe that's where The Five comes in. Sometimes you have to up the stakes. Make a big bluff and she if she is willing to meet your challenge. That's the fun in poker.

So in real life, from time to time you have to up the stakes. See if she meets all your call. If she does, then you are gonna be a happy man. If she keeps folding then you got your answer. Not need of dramatic confession. The problem with dramatic confession is that it lacks emotional connection.

Girls are subtle. When you make you raise your stake, like letting her know its a date, this send her alarm bells rigging. She be thinking "OMG he is asking me out on a date" and there is be like a whole lot of emotional flurry and butterflies in her stomach". There is where you create emotional connections. Makes her remember or obsess about you. Then the ball is at her court. She meet you call then good for you. If she is not interested then she folds and will give you a polite refuse. You are her to hang out or yum-cha, then it is a meh situation. Not much thought given to it and no emotional connection. You get confusing signals.

As this progresses you need to make the stakes bigger. Example if she buys you a gift tell "this is so awesome. I think i'm falling for you (with a grin)". If you pull this of with confidence, you send the ball in her court again and see if she meets your challenge. Was it a joke or was it for real? It will send a frenzy of emotions and chemical reactions take place. There is your emotional chemistry. If she is not into you, by now she would back out and end the game without embarrassment because the ball is in her court.

Once you have won most of her chips then you make the one last big call to make her bet all her chips. Let her know that you like her. With the ball in her court see how she plays it. You can still lose if you make a big mistake and surrender all your chips at this point. Poker and romance, need a lot of confidence and risk taking. That's why iin this game the confident guy mostly wins.

This post has been edited by killdavid: Sep 15 2012, 07:23 AM

good for you. Now go get a life.
74 pages in a day . geez