Ezra, hate to say it but you're trying really hard to conform Noobie's content to your point of views again.

Noobie's guide isn't about attracting women. It isn't about "success". Of course it would only work on a chick who already likes you.

Hmm, let me try to explain.

I am looking at Noobie's post entirely within its context, a better way of letting a girl know you like her, and thus I am limiting my critique to entirely within that sphere.

When you raise the bigger picture of course and say that this would only work if the girl is attracted to you, then yes of course I agree, but doesn't everybody take that for granted already? That attraction or its potential MUST exist for anything to progress in any way?

However, if you would say that having that having attraction is more important than Noobie's guide, this is where I would disagree.

I think that having attraction and also Noobie's guide has equal importance.

If you had attraction from a girl, but responded to it in the wrong way, there is a strong chance that you would immediately lose it.

And conversely it is entirely possible to create attraction out of thin air, even if a girl has not noticed you before.

So that's what I think.

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Added on July 30, 2009, 7:11 pm+1

It's too bad I'm a barbarian that stares at breasts.

I can't help it. I love breasts so much. If I see them, I cannot stop staring.

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Jul 30 2009, 07:11 PM

Please do not ask her stupid things like that. You will look like a small kid who's unsure or neurotic about little matters.

I'm busy now but I'll get back on this later.

Drew, listen to Silverhawk's advice.

How many times have you taken her out before, how do you usually interact with her, and what do you usually do together?

I'll add more thoughts after I get your answer.

Regarding inviting her to your home, you might think that it's innocuous but from experience women tend to be more wary and circumspect about going to a guy's house.

Might be a better choice to take her out to do something fun before asking her to your place. She might think you're looking for a quick lay and think she's easy. Then again, everything depends which is why I asked you those questions above.

Regarding if she likes you, there are two necessary components:

1. You have to have confidence in your own attractiveness, no matter what other people think. You must believe this is an innate quality. You must have grounds to do so, and your confidence must be unshakeable.

2. You can see her degree of interest in you by how she treats you. Is she receptive to you? When you gaze into her eyes, does she gaze back? Does she laugh at your jokes? When you ask her to do something, does she do it? Is she comfortable with your touch? When you make a silly face does she laugh? When your body is close to hers, is she comfortable with it? Does she actually lean in closer, or does she seem nervous, or does she try to keep her distance?

^ These things and many more are ways you can use to judge how much she's into you.

--------

Next: attitude

A lot of success in life depends on your attitude. This is true of love also.

Two things stand out from your posts:

1. You think believe that you may be discounted entirely on the basis of race

2. "try to win her heart by cooking something?". You want to "win" her heart.

A) There are a lot of Chinese guys out there with really hot girlfriends and wives of other races. What's the difference between them and other Chinese losers?

1. They do not have an inferiority complex, they do not believe that they are inferior or that other races of men have an advantage just because of race. They have not allowed themselves to be mentally colonized and defeated, unlike other men who have completely absorbed negative ideas into their sense of self.

2. They have very strong personal qualities that set them apart from other people, that make them noticed in a good way.

3. These traits ensure that they are seen not just as "some Chinese guy" - which is a very vague and generic label and most susceptible to almost any number of negative stereotyping and racism out there - but as actual personalities.

B) Love and relationships are like clapping, it takes both hands, both parties. It's always a good idea to have the other party willing to invest just as much into you as you are to her, from the very beginning. If she's willing to do that, that significantly lessens the chances she will take you for granted or leave for greener pastures.

Instead of trying to "win" her heart, give her a chance to win YOURS. This is very important.

Also, what is it about her that you like? What is it that sets her apart from other women you meet and interact with? Be clear about this, enough to understand the basis of your attraction towards her. If all goes well, one day she will surely want to know.

Likewise, rather than trying to "win" her heart, let her find out about you, portray the side of yourself that has value and that makes her unique, and give her a chance to recognize and appreciate that.

Well, I've written too much already. All the best, Drew!

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Jul 31 2009, 02:50 AM

A lot of people don't really understand what love is. That's the thing: it's hard to understand love until you've been shown love.

At the risk of sounding sappy and unmanly, I would say that learning to love is just as important as finding the right person to love.

Yes, it is true that people have too much expectations.

I believe that this is because these expectations come from external sources, as well as ignorance about the self.

So when you have a man or woman that doesn't understand him or herself, cannot understand their desires and what motivates them, doesn't know what they want in a partner beyond the most superficial things and external appearances, then you have all these external sources telling them what is "good" or "bad" and "right" or "wrong" or "cool" or "uncool", it is bound to happen that all their expectations are in the end irrelevant.

As for finding the right person to love and also learning to love, I believe that they are two separate but inter-related things, thus it is not a chicken or egg question nor apples and oranges simile, but more like ant and wasp. Sorry I can't find a better simile or analogy, my brain failed at the end there. Argh

^ ROFL at the banter!!!

^ And how does this relate to Noobie's article?

If I may suggest, this thread has become embroiled in discussing the validity of your own articles, only because you've shifted the focus from its original topic, to yours. O_O"

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Jul 31 2009, 03:27 PM

This quote here is so awesome!

ROFLMAO!!!!

Even better!

XD

This debbieyss is dangerous. She should take fencing lessons, she's a natural!

???!!!!!

My brain short circuit

You're all over the place mate, and somehow I think you don't understand what was written.

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Added on July 31, 2009, 6:31 pmI see what you did there

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Jul 31 2009, 06:31 PM

Ya man

Geez man, look, there's obviously a miscommunication here. I don't claim anything and I didn't say that you've typed gibberish. I had a hard time understanding what you were getting at - it didn't seem to make much sense to me but who knows I might just have had another brainfart (they are certainly common enough) - and I typed that out before thinking first. I don't mean anything personal, and I'm sorry for making it sound that way and being judgemental.

Peace?

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Jul 31 2009, 07:43 PM

Because I want to be notty

No la, I really did not mean any offence.

Sry sry sry, ok?

I mean that your verbal fencing is like a grandmaster, very expert.

You possess the mental qualities so if you learnt real fencing or swordsmanship you would become a master (or mistress)