so debbieyss is a tarp and not a female as advertised in the female tag?

OMG!!!!!! Debbie is a TARP!!!!??? !! OMFG!!!!!!!

which post, mr debbie? 

If she's shown you all the right signs, if you've went out on the date, if you're alone with her and it's quiet and she's standing really close to you and you're both gazing into each other's eyes...

...actually, you still shouldn't confess. You should grab her and give her an earth-shaking kiss.

Then you can confess. 

You're the one that failed.

Let me put it in another way. If you're not interested in that bloke, why create chemistry in the first place.

FAHAM?

He's not gonna "kau" ugly fags like me. 
I agree to this thread doesn't mean I agree to ALL his postings in LYN.

Anyway 

You no fun lah eyhc. 

Err, is it appropriate to post people's face in CC? 

I've reported the post just in case it isn't. O_o"

You dont have to know a person to be interested. Paham?

Geez... people these days aren't as smart as I give them credit for.

If the face is handsome or pretty then im sure its ok. H4E look good ma....so its ok! He no complain also.

If the face is handsome or pretty then im sure its ok. H4E look good ma....so its ok! He no complain also.

Ya it's true. Happy4ever is damn lengzhai.

Quite unexpected. 
just kidding!

Right, I'm gonna do an ezralimm and attempt to impart my precious wisdom onto you noobs. Be kind.

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"Confessing" is for losers. Seriously. It is the lamest way of letting a girl know you like her, and it is not very effective. Here's why:

- You're giving up all control over the outcome. All the power is now in her hands to either say yes or no. There's nothing you can do about it anymore.
- You're putting unnecessary pressure on her. Suddenly she has to decide then and there how she feels about you, when she may not even be sure herself yet. And she may be afraid of hurting you if she says no. It's not fair to put her in such a position.
- You're asking her to love you back. You don't ask for love. You offer it, and if she accepts, she will offer hers in return.
- You're setting up an unrealistic expectation. Since you asked for her love, she will tend to see you as someone who always has to earn it. She will see herself as a princess to you, because you played the role of a beggar to her.

Only lovesick schoolboys still do this "confession" thing. Mature adults do it this way:

1) Eye contact. You know how two people tend to not look each other in the eye for too long? That there's usually a time limit before both people look away? Well, if you like this girl, maintain eye contact just a little longer than the time limit. Look at her just a little longer than necessary. Then give her a little smile before looking away. Don't stare, don't glue your eyes to her all the time. Just don't be afraid to show that you like looking at her. 

2) Make her laugh. It's one thing to get her to talk comfortably with you. It's another thing for her to enjoy talking to you, so much so that she remembers how much she enjoys talking to you. Be at your wittiest and most charming, put some effort into making her laugh. Don't be too shy to say something like, "Hey, wanna hear a joke?" Then tell her a dozen jokes, one after another. Let her know that you're purposely trying to make her happy.

3) Remember the things she says. Listen to what she has to say, then show her that you listened. If she mentioned her dog Poochie, greet her with "Hi, how's Poochie?" the next time you see her. If she mentioned she has trouble sleeping, ask her if she slept well the next day. If she likes a certain TV show, find out when the show airs, then ask her how was last night's episode the next day. Better yet, watch the show, so that you can talk about it with her. You can even tell her you didn't like the show - the fact that you watched it just because of her is flattering enough.

4) Physical proximity/contact. This is a tricky one, so be very careful. Position yourself closer to her - not too close, but a little closer than normal. You know the distance between friends, and the distance between bf and gf? You want to be exactly halfway in-between. (And better make sure you're wearing deodorant!) Similarly, give her a little touch every now and then, but be careful. Touch her shoulder when you want to get her attention. When talking to her, pat her on her arm to emphasize a point; if you've gotten close enough to her, you can try her thigh. When walking together, put your hand on the small of her back to guide her in a different direction. Just don't let your hand linger there too long.

You know what's the best thing about all these? They are measurable. Meaning, you will know instantly whether or not they're working. If she likes you, she will return the eye contact with you - if she doesn't, she always will look away before you do. If she likes you, she will laugh at all your jokes. If she likes you, she will appreciate the fact that you remember things about her. If she likes you, she will stand close to you, and she will touch you. By doing these things to her, you are letting her know it's okay for her to do the same to you. You're also letting her know that it's okay for her to not do the same to you, if she's not interested in you.

And if you're getting all the right signals from her, it's time to move on to:

5) Ask her out. Just you and her. None of the rest of your gang. Nobody else. Yes, it's a date. It could be a movie, it could be a drink at a coffee place, or if you're really confident, it could be dinner at a nice restaurant. Don't treat it as if it's a big deal, as if by saying yes she'll be making a big commitment to you. Keep this in mind if she's reluctant - say, "Hey, it's just a movie/coffee/dinner, I'm not asking you to marry me laa."

And after you do all this, after you've got the date... then what?

Then you just let it happen naturally. And believe me, if you've gotten this far and the girl has been showing all the signs of liking you, it will happen naturally. Which may be a surprise if you've always thought that tackling a girl is a long, gruelling, agonizingly difficult task that involves a "confession". You may be surprised at how easy it was. Which is as it should be. (And don't give me that "if it's easy to get, you won't appreciate" nonsense.  ) If a guy and a girl like each other, they should fall into a relationship easily.

This is how mature adults do it. And even if you are a lovesick schoolboy, you should still do it this way. Because it's the right way to do it.

A bit technical though. The tl;dr summary would simply be that it takes two to tango.

The thread should come with a disclaimer that if a girl doesnt find you attractive, none of the above would work....

No, I don't think so. Not everything can be reduced to a tl;dr.
Not quite. I made it clear that aside from showing your interest in someone, it also allows you to test her for interest in you.

One of the best ways to attract someone is to show your attraction to them, in a manner that does not make them uncomfortable. But this is not a "kau lui" guide. It is, as I have titled it, a guide on what to do to let a girl know you're interested in her.

Vote pin.

A bit technical though. The tl;dr summary would simply be that it takes two to tango.

I dont quite agree with the part on physical contact. Different girls expect different amounts of physical contact. Just go with the flow, you should be able to sense when you are going too far.

The thread should come with a disclaimer that if a girl doesnt find you attractive, none of the above would work.... The eye contact would be interpreted as being "creepy", jokes would be "lame", physical contact would be a no-no (she would edge away and avoid you...creep!), and you will be brushed away when you ask her out
With regards to the part on remembering things: I feel that it's best not to "try to remember". Rather, try to build genuine rapport. EMPATHY is key. If your mind is somewhere else, your date will notice...no matter how many little things you remember about her.

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Added on July 30, 2009, 5:46 pmOh btw, this article is a nice followup to the one i just wrote.
my article dealt with issues of attractiveness (holistically).

this one deals with the step after that.

Ezra, hate to say it but you're trying really hard to conform Noobie's content to your point of views again.

Noobie's guide isn't about attracting women. It isn't about "success". Of course it would only work on a chick who already likes you.

Well, we're going to have to agree to disagree on that one.

In my experience and observation, I find that if a guy shows that kind of interest (steps 1-5) towards a girl who does not find him attractive:

1) extra eye contact wont be reciprocated, and may be considered "creepy".
2) the uninterested girl simply wouldnt give the guy much opportunities to "make her laugh".
3) Physical contact will earn you the proverbial slap on the face.
Either way. It doesnt matter. Chicken or the egg? Which came first? Dont know, dont give a shit. I still like to eat chicken.
The bottom line is that if a girl does not find you attractive, you simply wouldnt have much luck with any of those steps. Dont believe me? Try doing those steps with the hottest girl you know... Ya know, the girl who gets all the attention and has a zillion eligable bachelors going after her. Good luck!
You can generally tell when a girl finds you attractive. SHE would be looking at you. SHE would not avoid talking/chatting with you. SHE will actually try to engage you...giving you all the opportunities for steps 1-5 in your article.
the girl will give the guy opportunities for steps 1-5 if she is interested in him
...in the same way guys give lots of opportunities to girls they find attractive (guys always seem to want to know more about the hot girls yea )