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 5 Ways to Let a Girl Know You're Interested In Her, with none of this "confessing" nonsense

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royalgold9801
post Jan 15 2018, 04:31 PM

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i have a crush on this girl that takes the same bus with me everyday to work.

the bus is usually packed af and starting a conversation in a rough bus ride is awkward hahahahah.

how do i approach her?! pass a note to her?
sweet_pez
post Feb 25 2018, 10:49 AM

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QUOTE(royalgold9801 @ Jan 15 2018, 04:31 PM)
i have a crush on this girl that takes the same bus with me everyday to work.

the bus is usually packed af and starting a conversation in a rough bus ride is awkward hahahahah.

how do i approach her?! pass a note to her?
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Start off with a smile. Since you see each other "often", you are a familiar face. She will likely return your smile. After that try to get a chance to stand or sit next to her. That is where to try to chat her up and yes its the "Hi" first unless you have something else to say biggrin.gif
light_sdo
post Oct 18 2018, 09:12 AM

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QUOTE(spanker @ Jul 28 2009, 02:18 PM)
Dude, most of the saps here can't do 1-5. Shieat, they can't even do 1. And those who can tend to scare the girl more often than not. And malaysian women, being the spoilt brats that they are, will treat those who do as "just a friend" because the guy is "fun to be with" and wants the guy to do something dumb like what they see in the HK/TW/KR dramas as an expression of "love".

Come on, you know it's true. Yes, there girls who prefer this western style of courtship, but most are just too.... asian.
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Excellent replied bro! thumbup.gif thumbup.gif thumbup.gif
+100 thumbsup.gif thumbsup.gif thumbsup.gif
Melon_Melly
post Oct 24 2018, 12:37 PM

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I've got a guy in my class does all 5 mentioned and I think I was too confident that time(I regretted) and so I walk to him and confessed. He rejected me LOL and said I'm a narcissist... and so this story got into one and another ear. I got made fun for the rest of my 3years in secondary school.
pinklittlecat
post Jan 21 2019, 08:45 PM

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aiyo, why make it so complicated....

Just say whats on your mind if you feel like saying it at the moment.

Express yourself well, communicate well and be ready for rejection.

Girls ain't that complicated. Unless not all girls are.
amygdala.amy
post Feb 1 2019, 05:27 PM

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I still think confession is the best way
bryanhwm
post Jun 19 2019, 03:55 PM

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I did all the 5 steps
She responded as well
But yet I'm clueless what she is thinking as she kept going MIA
jonesnat044 P
post Sep 23 2019, 09:21 PM

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really interesting tips))
Tommylau87 P
post Jan 3 2020, 05:32 PM

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QUOTE(n00b13 @ Jul 28 2009, 02:10 PM)
"Confessing" is for losers. Seriously. It is the lamest way of letting a girl know you like her, and it is not very effective. Here's why:

- You're giving up all control over the outcome. All the power is now in her hands to either say yes or no. There's nothing you can do about it anymore.
- You're putting unnecessary pressure on her. Suddenly she has to decide then and there how she feels about you, when she may not even be sure herself yet. And she may be afraid of hurting you if she says no. It's not fair to put her in such a position.
- You're asking her to love you back. You don't ask for love. You offer it, and if she accepts, she will offer hers in return.
- You're setting up an unrealistic expectation. Since you asked for her love, she will tend to see you as someone who always has to earn it. She will see herself as a princess to you, because you played the role of a beggar to her.
- You're creating the impression that you're ashamed to have feelings for her. Because that's what a confession is - an admission of guilt or wrongdoing.
- You're making a huge dramatic moment out something very small. Liking a girl is ultimately a small thing.

Those last two points are perhaps the most important to understand. Just because you've met a girl whom you have the hots for, doesn't mean she's The One OMG!!!11 And wanting to date her doesn't mean you're asking her to promise to marry you ASAP. If you're thinking this way, then of course you're ashamed to admit you like her, because you're expecting far more than she can realistically give. You're probably doing all you can to keep your feelings secret from her and everyone else like a lovesick schoolboy.

Stop being a lovesick schoolboy. Mature adults are not ashamed of their feelings. Whether you've fallen head over heels for her, or you just think she's really really pretty, you should not be afraid to show it - to her. And you can show it in a way that flatters her, that makes her feel desired, and that does not make her uncomfortable.

1) Eye contact. You know how two people tend to not look each other in the eye for too long? That there's usually a time limit before both people look away? Well, if you like this girl, maintain eye contact just a little longer than the time limit. Look at her just a little longer than necessary. Then give her a little smile before looking away. Don't stare, don't glue your eyes to her all the time. Just don't be afraid to show that you like looking at her.  smile.gif

2) Make her laugh. It's one thing to get her to talk comfortably with you. It's another thing for her to enjoy talking to you, so much so that she remembers how much she enjoys talking to you. Be at your wittiest and most charming, put some effort into making her laugh. Don't be too shy to say something like, "Hey, wanna hear a joke?" Then tell her a dozen jokes, one after another. Let her know that you're purposely trying to make her happy.

3) Remember the things she says. Listen to what she has to say, then show her that you listened. If she mentioned her dog Poochie, greet her with "Hi, how's Poochie?" the next time you see her. If she mentioned she has trouble sleeping, ask her if she slept well the next day. If she likes a certain TV show, find out when the show airs, then ask her how was last night's episode the next day. Better yet, watch the show, so that you can talk about it with her. You can even tell her you didn't like the show - the fact that you watched it just because of her is flattering enough.

4) Physical proximity/contact. This is a tricky one, so be very careful. Position yourself closer to her - not too close, but a little closer than normal. You know the distance between friends, and the distance between bf and gf? You want to be exactly halfway in-between. (And better make sure you're wearing deodorant!) Similarly, give her a little touch every now and then, but be careful. Touch her shoulder when you want to get her attention. When talking to her, pat her on her arm to emphasize a point; if you've gotten close enough to her, you can try her thigh. When walking together, put your hand on the small of her back to guide her in a different direction. Just don't let your hand linger there too long.

You know what's the best thing about all these? They are measurable. Meaning, you will know instantly whether or not they're working. If she likes you, she will return the eye contact with you; she will laugh at all your jokes; she will appreciate the fact that you remember things about her; she will stand close to you, and she will touch you. If she doesn't, then you'll know she's not interested. By doing these things, you're not only showing her you like her, you're also giving her the option of gently rejecting you - or subtly encouraging you.

And if you're getting all the right signals from her, it's time to move on to:

5) Ask her out. Just you and her. None of the rest of your gang. Nobody else. Yes, it's a date. It could be a movie, it could be a drink at a coffee place, or if you're really confident, it could be dinner at a nice restaurant. Don't treat it as if it's a big deal, as if by saying yes she'll be making a big commitment to you. Keep this in mind if she's reluctant - say, "Hey, it's just a movie/coffee/dinner, I'm not asking you to marry me laa."

And after you do all this, after you've got the date... then what?

Then you just let it happen naturally. And believe me, if you've gotten this far and the girl has been showing all the signs of liking you, it will happen naturally. Which may be a surprise if you've always thought that tackling a girl is a long, gruelling, agonizingly difficult task that involves a "confession". You may be surprised at how easy it was. Which is as it should be. (And don't give me that "if it's easy to get, you won't appreciate" nonsense.  shakehead.gif ) If a guy and a girl like each other, they should fall into a relationship easily.

This is how mature adults do it. And even if you are a lovesick schoolboy, you should still do it this way. Because it's the right way to do it.

Note: these are not 5 steps. They're only arranged in that order from most to least daring, but you don't need to follow the order - except that if you want her to say yes to no. 5, you should've gotten good responses to nos. 1-4 first. No. 3 obviously only works from the second time you see her onwards, but if you're getting signals from her during your very first meeting, then by all means ask her out there and then. They're not 5 steps, they're 5 ways.
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Tommylau87 P
post Jan 3 2020, 05:33 PM

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I think these points are good, I personally have tried these before
Captain89
post Jan 3 2020, 07:01 PM

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QUOTE(Tommylau87 @ Jan 3 2020, 04:03 PM)
I think these points are good, I personally have tried these before
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How was it?
K0MR4DE
post Jul 17 2020, 11:42 PM

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Technically, I got until step 5) but I'm scared to make a move yo! Sked she doesn't felt the same thing sad.gif
Purestaff
post Jul 19 2020, 09:08 PM

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If you want to let a girl know that you care for her the you ned to be there for her when she needs you. There is a difference between being there and keeping company. It does not mean that you should always be around her because she needs her space. Girls want to know that you can take care of them.
Dijora P
post Jul 19 2020, 09:14 PM

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If you want a gilr to know that you like her the you have to be straight forward bu not tooo straight if you know what I mean. Girls do not want shy boys. Give her strong hints and not the weak hints. A girl can tell what you wat by how you behave around her. Make sure that you flirt and the ask her out if you have realised that she likes you.
Arsenal21
post Sep 13 2020, 06:44 PM

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Be yourself
-mystery-
post Apr 1 2021, 05:03 PM

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11 years liao. Where's this original writer gone
Hoka Nobasho
post May 13 2021, 10:50 AM

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QUOTE(n00b13 @ Jul 28 2009, 02:10 PM)
"Confessing" is for losers. Seriously. It is the lamest way of letting a girl know you like her, and it is not very effective.
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That depends on the culture. There are Japanese women who actually felt strange by those who do not confess, and as such are actually expecting the guy to confess and be clear about their feelings before they can move on to the next step of the relationship.

Many of the other steps are somewhat within common sense, but the gist of it to simply not to make it a big deal. I'll go one step further by giving everyone this advice:

BE PREPARED TO BE SINGLE FOREVER and just WANK whenever you felt the need to, especially when you find it extremely difficult for you to get into a serious relationship.

Otherwise, stop hitting yourself on the head whenever you question why you don't "get" any love. Maybe you're ugly. Maybe you're just not friendly enough. Or maybe there's something about you that's not enough for most people, and it would be extremely rare to find anyone who would accept you. But what you need to prepare is to PREPARE HOW TO LIVE WITH YOURSELF, ALONE. Dating isn't for everyone, and serious relationships aren't definitely for everyone either. Your destiny is not necessarily the same as the rest of the world.

Just be happy with living with yourself, take good care of yourself, and then slowly move on to treating other people well. In time, perhaps you'll finally meet someone. But don't count on it.

And trust me, just when you thought you finally "made it", maintaining a relationship is another thing, and it would make you wish to be single again.

In short, it's REALLY NOT A BIG DEAL (especially if you're a girl). You're just HORNY.
-mystery-
post May 13 2021, 12:04 PM

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i've been in dating game for 10 years, it all came down to how resilient you're towards rejections from females. A lot of R, it isn't about you, don't take it personally. You can assume you're broke/don't have nice car/being player because they ghosted on you, dont try to seek the ultimate answer, from each female, women don't want to feel bad they will tell you the nicest things in the world.
callmecool
post Aug 15 2022, 02:26 PM

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What if the girl I like is dating someone now? hmmm...
persona93
post Aug 28 2022, 05:13 PM

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QUOTE(callmecool @ Aug 15 2022, 02:26 PM)
What if the girl I like is dating someone now? hmmm...
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move along

been there done that, thought i was the hero saving her from her bad relationship, they ended up together now married after she dumped me

This post has been edited by persona93: Aug 28 2022, 05:13 PM

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