Why so many questions just to start a conversation? Where is that part where you intrigue her enough to get HER to engage you?

You're so curious about a girl you don't know much about and you're not giving her the chance to be curious about you and to be compelled to find out anything about you. In a way you are already saying to her "I want to know everything about you, but who I am to you is not important". That's needy and is made of suck.

After you've made introductions and gotten to know her at the basic level, why not just play it casual? Instead of asking her all these questions, why not just talk about current stuff, and pop culture, like TV shows, latest albums or whatever.

What about non-verbal communication? How many ways do you know to communicate a vibe without using words? Non-verbal communication is essential.

Please listen to Duke Red's advice, and ask him further if you need any further clarifications. The man is wise and experienced. Don't abuse his goodwill or take his words for granted.

I agree with this.


But disagree with this:
You cannot change yourself just to be yourself so a particular girl will find u attractive. That would still get you in the wrong direction. You should strive to be yourself only better(fitness first slogan) to attract the girl that like you as you are.

This post has been edited by teongpeng: Jul 25 2009, 12:50 AM

Well, I see it this way: "Being yourself" is not like a coat that you can put on and take off at will. Many people do not have the self-awareness to really figure out who this "yourself" really is. Some people never figure it out.

"Be yourself" is good advice, but it's not necessarily easy to do.

wats with ppl .."be ur self" "just be urself"

thing is i am a pyschopath , delusional , mental person how would i be myself infront of a girl that i have interest with..

Simple really. Shes not for you or you're not for her. Patchee not compatible. Strive to attract a girl that fancies a psychopath, delusional mental person instead.

---

Added on July 25, 2009, 1:32 amYes. i agree. The easier advice to follow would be to .... Stop pretending to be someone you are not.

Anyway i was just uncomfortable with ezra's suggestion to improve yourself just to get a girl's attention. Sometimes even if u have already become the best that u can be.....it will still be different from what the girl u are attracting to take notice because the best you can be isnt what she is looking for.

A better option in my opinion would be to focus on bettering yourself FOR YOURSELF, and take your pick from the girls who are attracted to yourself as you are.

This post has been edited by teongpeng: Jul 25 2009, 01:39 AM

Should start pretending to be someone who you are.

And dont be better yourself for the girl. Just say what she likes to hear, and do what she likes to see. After "masuk deposit", lari je.

People form up to 90% of their opinion about you in the first four minutes of meeting you so it's critical to have effective ways to start conversations in any situation. You have only three opening topics to choose from to start the conversion:

1) the situation
2) the other person
3) yourself

And only three ways to begin:

1) asking question
2) giving an opinion
3) stating a fact

1. Talking about the Situation


2. Talking about the Other Person


3. Talking About Yourself


Source : People Skills For Life EASY PEASEY by Allan & Barbara Pease [Page 31]

This post has been edited by clayton-chew: Jul 25 2009, 02:56 AM

yesterday 1 girl accidentally bang me to start a conversation

define the term 'bang'...

i think he meant "bump"

Wow, that girl is a keeper!

Hmm, i feel that non-verbal communication comes naturally when you are in a good physical and mental state.

It's hard to explain. It's like you get this self consciousness that you just "know" that you are in the game. You walk with confidence. You look with confidence. You talk with confidence. I dont think i can describe the feeling...but you get it when you have lots of friends, you're emotionally secure, and happy with your life. you know how awesome you are. Girls will sense it in you from the way you walk, talk, live and breathe! Then they will subconsciously/consciously want to talk to you! This really works IMO. True confidence cannot be faked - everything will fall apart once you open your mouth even if your posture is perfect.

People kept thinking what to say because they were afraid that they might say something wrong.

Sometimes, you need to realize that you are wrong, before you can do the right thing.

So go ahead. Let consequences be your teacher. It's not like you will die if you can't impress one measly girl lol.

Just don't do something stupid like killing yourself over a girl.

bang = langgar

she already have bf

aiya, tot she "bang" you in the meaning of copulation to have conversation with you...

from there only start the short conversation

This post has been edited by POYOZER: Aug 2 2009, 07:33 PM

waa.. suddenly this thread naik pangkat from pg13 to 'rated r'

what's that?

well, sometimes i do meet girls who are cold. only giving simple answers and not elaborating. it menas they are not interested...ah well. LOL...

me: hi how are u
gal: im good how abt u
me: not too bad, anyways you know 4chan?
gal: what chan?
me: 4chan lo ... random come let me show u ..

with these easy steps she will come to u