QUOTE(anti-informatic @ Jun 14 2009, 09:06 PM)
this isnt kopitiam. be warned.to TS:
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Crush is that rush of feelings u feel all of a sudden. especially when u meet someone new. Those so called "love at first sight" is never love, they're ALWAYS crushes. You cannot fall in love with someone you do not know. U have to understand the person intimately before you can consider that you're in love.
Crushes are merely a surge of attraction u feel for someone, whether its just a physical attribute you're attracted to, or a character trait. You can suddenly notice and learn to like the character of your close friend and have a crush on them. (if its your close friend, and u understand her very well, its possible to skip the crush phase and go fall in love as u understand the person already)
Although a lot of people think, "oooo i got a crush on someone, i cant get over them, help T.T" thats actually pure BS. They watched too many korean movies. As i said earlier a crush is merely a very strong feeling of attraction.
One can even have a crush on SOMEONE ELSE while being in love with another. You can totally love your partner and still find someone else who has a trait that u like, attractive. WHich is perfectly normal and fine. What matters is what your proceed to do once you already have this crush
DIFFERENT OUTCOMES WHEN U HAVE A CRUSH
i) accept that u find this person very attractive, how your heart skips a beat every time u see the person, and keep telling yourself how much u "love" her and cant live without her, which is stupid and self detrimental, as you havent even dated her yet, and you're already encouraging your lil crush to go to the extremes. Or worse, if you're already in a relationship, you convince yourself to leave the person u love for the person u THOUGHT you're in love with.
ii) Accept that you find this person attractive, and let it slide. let it sorta wash over you. Don't fight it down exactly, since the more u try to NOT think of something, the more you tend to actually DO think of something. Just accept it. understand it. "Ah, i'm having a small crush on this person. i wonder why. oh its because she's always cheerful. that's nice." and walk away, knowing that this is the kinda trait that u like. In time, this attraction will dim itself down or fade away, as long as u learn to accept it and let it wash over u.
iii) If u are single and find that u wish to pursue the crush, you must first again, like step 2, learn to accept it, and understand it. Learn to to think "ah, i have a crush on her. i think hmmm, its because she's really cute when she smiles, its physical attraction". Once u understand your crush, and its trait, as in whether physical or what not, u can try to ask her out perhaps, to get to learn her more. Because u UNDERSTAND your crush, u know what to look out for when u date, to ensure you're truly compatible. (fine she's attractive when she's happy, when she's sad? other habits? etc)I'm not saying be a robot and analyze the relationship like one, but understanding and knowing how to judge a relationship objectively, rather than being like a giddy school girl who only knows how to say "i love him i love him i love him" without understanding why, can help your relationship TRULY last long. You have foundation, you have compatibility, and if u can handle the emotional aspects of the relationship, then you've found a mate.
Then your crush will evolve into love, and you probably cant really tell the differences. I wont go and describe how a person in love would behave as it varies. But remember, you cannot "love" a person when u don't know the person
If u get rejected and break down a cry like a rejected puppy, you're in step i)
so is it love, or crush?
Jun 14 2009, 09:08 PM
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