my bf doesnt take much initiative to meet me again, although we are in touch online frmo time to time, thats is only he sends me an offline msg when we are not on together at the same time.... he is too busy at work, and msn is the only place we can talk...

LDR here. the last 2 times we met, i initiated the idea and he supported it, with full supports! he booked hotels, picked me up from airport, everything... im totally melt. but now im waiting for t he thrid time, which he has no say yet... i dont doubt at his sincerity to go on with me, it is just that when i dont want to do it anymore, and i wish to be pampered and being take care of... and he knows very well for waht i want and yet not giving it, so, is it like he is letting it go?

i did a lot for him and he knows it all well. i think i want to stop taking too much initiative steps from now on cos i might sound too cheap for him. although, i know he values my existance a lot, especially during a sorrow time of his life.

but, we are just, stucked.

This post has been edited by Cranberries: May 29 2009, 01:29 PM

Thanks for reading, here is more about my story:

we used to talk daily non-stop no matter how busy he was in his job, but since 2009 he is transferred to another dept which has no net access in am, and in pm, i can only stay for 2-3hrs IF im free, which im usually not. So, we dont actually talk much since then. the way we are is, since im online at msot of the time, he will send me a msg if he sees me, and he does that even when im offline and i get it the next day and knew that he WAS there.... so, this is us. just hi-bye.

since jan 2009, even when we are 'together' we jsut dont talk as much as before anymore, particularly bcos we get to know more of each other Already, and we are entering a more stable relationship now, which u can say it is the final stage of the relationship too, cos we could just break up since we are already there to help each other, be there for each other.... many more... it is either we continue this way, or break up.

sometimes i wrote him a long email since we cant meet and talk... but with his busy schedule, he told me he is too tired to read lines n lines of messages, so he printed it out and read it when he is having meeting or at home... no matter how, i odnt mind, i know how busy he is... i dont care... i dont wait for his answer or anything, just sharing of my thoughts, just to further solid to us....

to me, i have done A LOT or too much from my side. it is clearly to him and me that it is time for him to do sth. but i know he is lacking of the 'ability' to do so, cos he is busy....

id ont care of he is having another gf or what... i will be happy for him if he does think someone else is better than i do...

at times i try to tell him that i have my choices too.... he told me he wont mind as well, he said i have my right to choose what is best for me... so we are on an opened stage...

the situation is like, i either wait, or i give up while someone else approach to me...

i just wish there is a paradox that we can live happily ever after.... which i know there isnt


Lighthouse - i didnt let him know how much i miss him or what i want from him... he understands me very well and he knows everything i want... it is amazing... he is the most compatible guy with me so far, i enjoy his love and attention and his ABILITY of knowing me and giving exactly what i want....so, to your Q, i didnt tell him what i want, but i know he knows it... the only thing that he doesnt do it, it is either he has someone else/he doesnt want to do it to me or he is really too busy.

yes i can say he has this pattern all this while. i know he is a shy guy, but once i took initiative, he responded greatly. so i know if i really want to meet him and i name a plan, i know he will take leave and go for it with me... it is jsut that, id ont think i want to do it anymore.... cos i ahve done TWICE. and for this time, i even hinted that im free in Aug, and i can come over.... so when time approaching.... he would have said sth if he wants, right???

---

Added on May 29, 2009, 2:44 pm

krovaxq, it has been... 6 mths? we met twice. we chatted everyday in first month, from 9-5 non stop, we couldnt tell each other we love each other, until we met, we had sex and we found out that we love each other mroe than we imagined we would.... it is even greater in reality, we know each other very well and we provide what is needed by the other one... it looks like a perfect relationship to us.... excpe that he is very busy in his job, and we dont know how is the future going to be....


How sincere is he to you? How much faith do you have on him? I have no doubts on what you will say, but just a precautions of LDR.

he looks like he is very sincere to me. i mean, if i wanna think evilly, yes he wants it just for sex or anything... i can have a thousand reason for not trusting him... but i do trust him, and i want to trust him. no matter what his intention is, i enjoy loving him, despite that he loves me or not...

and i doubt that if he doesnt love me cos im like the best candidate for him... he doesnt social much... meeting me is like a jackpot for him... unlike him, im highly social... and yet he is so rare in my gang... i havent been pampered in such a way like he does to me... no matter how much i say no... he know i didnt mean it... and give all i want...

IMHO, guys will feel loved when the girl makes the initiative move..just like how girls would feel when the guys do it.


so? what should i do? tell him 'i want to meet you in aug?' can i get a bonus this time? can he does that to me? i have hinted that im free in aug, ... one thing is that i dont write to him as much as before or taking initiative to sms/tell him that i miss him anymore, with the last discussion (that we can free to have someone else) he might think that i have someone else so he doesnt want to pull me back ... i dont know how to tell him AGAIN that he is my best choice and i wanna be with him....


You have done so much for him, what has he done for you then? Have you ever question this to yourself?

i do. from time to time, i do questions it myself, yes he has done much, but it is alright, or im overly easy to be satisfied, i dont know. i mean, im alright with all that he has given me, i enjoy it, at least, i enjoy his very special talent of getting know me, i dont get it from other guys.... and he claims that his ex gf ditch him cos he is like a senselss wood to her... they arent as much in love we are... to me, he is too great for one could have... i odnt know wat that girl want... to give up such a piece of rare jewel....

the rest of your reply has been answered above i think...
and, thanks for your time and courtesy to help

---

Added on May 29, 2009, 2:48 pmi didnt notice the importance of these two Qs... i thou i could avoid it... since it is brought up, i guess my answer is, NIL or WAIT.

we just cant afford to talk about our future now, there is NO future for us RIGHT NOW so, its better that we just enjoy what we have now, right? Future, let future to worry about it, shall we?

This post has been edited by Cranberries: May 29 2009, 02:50 PM

thats a wired way to call it... anyway, i guess it is called as LDR = long distance relationship....

---

Added on May 29, 2009, 2:56 pmpoor mill - come on out, dont sulk in the corner. whats the matter?
Im alright with the q... i know, it is the hardest Q ever for all of us in LDR.... but, come one, face the reality... whats ur story?

This post has been edited by Cranberries: May 29 2009, 02:56 PM

i love painful facts too. i would always prefer the painful facts too.
i have no issue on above statement - he needs the salary for his family and his future, his boss is eying on him if he has to chat with me, and he wont be 'free' to talk to me, so why would i want that? no i dont want that. i want it from him naturally. if he cant provide it, then thats it about us....

arent u trying to 'avoid' painful facts while imagining love is larger than job/reality?

This post has been edited by Cranberries: May 29 2009, 03:55 PM

cheesenium ~ no worries. u dont have to pretend to be helping when u cant. im happy even with such a short msg - thanks!

mill - count me in - i know how pain is it to go thr love stories over and over again especially to strangers... they might not undrestand, they might not reply, but u still got to try telling so that u might find a soul-mate somewehre.... i know exactly how it feels... anyway, thank you for your msg.

thats life. hope u get to find the RIGHT one soon.

me, i don tknow, i dont picture a life with him in near future... we have our life obligations, i dont have any thing special picturing with him... we are busy in our life respectively... i tried to act like a little girl to voice out a story from a teenage pov....

haha. ok. i thou u r from Mars.
we are in two different countries, but within SEA

*sigh*
*another long sigh*

life house - define soul mate. What B and I are having, are not soul mate yet. We are 'physcially' compatible, that we DO THING happily for each other, meeting requirements/expectations...

but i have a true soul mate, A. ~~ sigh. long story. in short, we are NOT compatible physically. he likes to open all doors, n i will shut it all off; he likes to kids, i dont like kids, etc..... but we are mentally compatible... i know every single piece of his sorrow/happiness, we share the same view.... even when we are apart now (not in touch for almost 1 yr) i know what he is doing form his blog/LYN posts, i know his states of mind, he reads my blog, left me annoymous sentences and i know it is him.... we are true soul mates... but we just cant have each other in reality.... one day when we can ditch the reality, we might end up dying old together, or meet in cosmo.... i dont know, i mean soul would remain soul after body is dead if we still have conscious... cos our mind is close to each other's... we appreciate what the other one is doing whereas we cant find it else where with anyone else....

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND everyone!

A is aqua, B has his bday last week, dunno what sign, im in capricorn. im very compatible with B in signs, i read that.

This post has been edited by Cranberries: May 29 2009, 04:08 PM

mill - same star meaning we are both extra practical person... probably thats why we share the same storyline?!

---

Added on June 1, 2009, 2:44 pmyar... we are quite... in love with each other things he does for me are exactly what/how i wish to be treated, it is amazing.... everyone said im asking too much, everyone said i should continue to dream on... but not until one day i met B... everything he responses is too great to mention...

---

Added on June 1, 2009, 2:49 pmhey, u guys chat so much here... took me a while to catch up here....

This post has been edited by Cranberries: Jun 1 2009, 02:49 PM