Sigh.

Some of you know my story and about how I'm going to get married sometime mid next year. I had planned to keep things simple but it seems that suddenly things are going out of control...

As usual, all the problems of getting married have to do with MONEY. It seems interesting that there are already topics like this opened before I even posted this up. Here's the issue.

My fiancee is feeling very sad because she feels that as the bride, she should not have to pay for anything and that asking her to chip in on her own wedding is sad and degrading. Me on the other hand, cannot afford to pay for the entire ceremony for the following reasons.

1. Her mum requests a dowry of 3k+ which is cheap by most standards so I'm not complaining there.
2. Also requests 3 different Ang Pow. Its for tradition but the amount she didn't state yet.
3. Fiancee request Photo shoot worth about 2k++ (Damn expensive for photos you wont look at 6 months after your wedding)
4. The big whooper (Wedding dinner costing about 5k)
Haven't cover the the alcohol, gown rental and much much more...

All this I have to cover because my fiancee feels it is my responsibility...
So within the span of a year, I need to put away slightly over 10k (12 to be safe) only to watch it disappear...
And my fiancee wanna go honeymoon later as well....
Sigh...

I argued with her about this already and no solution in sight...

Damn sad...

IMHO, i don't see what's the problem sharing the wedding expenses, since it's both parties event, but of course if the guy willing to and have the capability to settle it then would be good. I'd say MARRIAGE is rather more important than WEDDING.  If one party not willing to compromise and sacrifies, how can a marriage last long even if you have a super grand wedding...

Just my 2 cents.

12k not alot? 12k go cheong in Thailand you can be a king! Hell, it's even enough to buy a Vietnamese bride!

Studies have also shown that the male mammalian species such as human beings like to procerate with as many fertile females as they can and spread their genes.

Do you really believe all these crap?

All TS ask for is  his bride to be is some understanding, is that too much to ask? We can all dispute whether the cost of wedding is high or not but that's relative. The fact is that he might not be able to afford it while his gf is unwilling to share the burden is the point.

Heh, my wife would disagree with you. In fact, I had to talk her into having a wedding dinner together with my mother-in-law. My own parents don't care much about the formalities. They're the very Western-educated type. My wife's parents are mostly okay too, but still feel like it was necessary to put on a show for the other relatives on my wife's side of the family. Personally, I don't care much for the tradition or being put on display but I was willing to put up with it for one night. Even so, neither of us put any effort into it whatsoever because we just couldn't be bothered. No speeches, no fancy music, no wedding car and decorations, no alcohol and toastings. We wanted to greet everyone, let them eat and send them on their way as soon as possible. I am proud to say that we were very poor hosts and it was a very, very bad wedding dinner.

Even to this day, 3 years later, my wife sometimes expresses regret that I managed to talk her into agreeing to have a wedding dinner at all. She thinks that it's a vain, meaningless and unenjoyable event held just to please others and not the two of us. She thinks that we should just have spent the money on increasing our honeymoon budget instead. Hehe. In general, both of us are not very sociable people and we hate doing things just for the sake of satisfying social conventions and showing off. We felt that it was much more meaningful to do different things for different sets of relatives and acquaintances together. For example, having lunch with our old school mates around a table, taking some of the younger members of the family to a karaoke etc.

This is also why the two of us get along very well.

Just a post to show that not all girls are like that, or enjoy the same things or think the same way and that it is not necessary to do things just because it is "expected" or "customary".

Ah yes, fall back to physcological studies, biological, culture, tradition or whatever to justify spending beyond one's means on a single event.

It makes as much sense as saying men should sow their seeds with as many fertile women as possible because it's hard-coded in their DNA.

Ever heard of personal choice?

And yet it still remains a personal choice for both of them.

Who are we to condemn him with accusations of kiam siap etc?