Hi forumer out there, just need some advise, this girl was being next-door classmate of mine, we used to be quite good with each other and can talk about everything, but recently i felt in love with her, but things seems not going right, she's like avoiding from me lately, i sms'ed her and she replies saying that i ask things over n over again, and ask us to give each other a break for now. Whats happening? need some advise. Previously we also gor talk on phone alot, almost an hour everyday.

Sorry for my bad english.

This post has been edited by mrwhatsoever: May 3 2009, 07:02 PM

im same with u

haih, susah la.. we've been ok since recently she says im very annoying and give her some time. what she meant?

prolly she just likes u as a friend.

upgrading a friend to a girlfriend sometimes might cause u to lose both a friend and a girlfriend

yes, i think thats what happening now. got any advise on how to comfort her in a way?

dont. just give her time and space.
if she treasures ur friendship she will contact u by initiating a conversation with you.

OK, i;ll let it be for now and see how.

hi there
did u tell her that you fell in love with her?

sometimes, its just not meant to be,man. Trust me, i know... You like a girl for a long time, but when you get with her, she turns into a whole other person. Thats life!

ahhh....I have experience this during my school days .....happen the same thing like u .....not really accurate le ...but friend then upgrade to gf ...then no talk...

Actually, Im also like TS, have not just no topic, but no girl to talk to...

How?

OMG!!WE ARE THE SAME!!YEA!!ok...here comes the master....weee!!
alrite..common problem is..u talk same topic everyday like.."hey wat r u doin rite nw??" "hmm??ooh i see.." " whr u been juz nw??" "why so late reply me??" and others...this will make girl bored..i mean...if ur watchin a tv program over and over again..u will be bored rite??basically..same concept..change ur topic to sumthin abit more...new...anyway..i am nt gud myself so...juz sum advice..as i been through it more den once..xD

same plight here. i suck at social and conversation skills.

Break the routines~ ~ ~

she just wanna be a friend with you, not ready for next level perhaps?

do you guys ever talk about your day? instead of keep on asking?
and in order for you to talk about your day, you have to be more adventures. meaning, get a life. not just sleep, eat, go to work, go back home, sleep, eat, all over again.

1) She's not attracted to you.

2) Put yourself in her shoes. If some random girl (you are not attracted to) keeps on trying to bump into you and try to chat you up... wouldnt you get sick of it? SHe's a nice friendly girl, and you end up chatting for awhile at first... but at the end of the day you both want different things. You cant stand the thought of seeing her naked. And she wants a relationship and a warm fuzzy romance. You dont see her as a potential partner so you tell her to "cool off".

This post has been edited by ezralimm: May 5 2009, 10:20 AM

she only treat u as good/best fren(max)

u may not her ideal BF

since u r so close to her, u should felt tat wat type/kind of boy she interested wit

have u see movie 'justfriends' ?

it's a movie that almost fit your story line problem. go find for it.

anyway, give her a break, stop sms n calling her, if u meet her, just act nothing happened, have a short talk, look for her response, make some jokes.

She's just not that into you.

Bang your head to the wall and hopefully after that you'll realised that she's avoiding you because she dont want to give you the wrong signal because she treats you as a normal fren only.

If you still can't accept the truth and still wanna keep on sms-ing and calling her, go on and I assure you that you'll end up being an anoyying bug in her daily life.

This post has been edited by Evangelistica: May 5 2009, 02:20 PM

+1

Beautiful tl:dr!

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Added on May 5, 2009, 2:47 pmNo need so drama, bang head on wall will only cause :stars:ache

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Added on May 5, 2009, 2:48 pmHAHAHA!!! You listen but you do not hear anything!!!

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: May 5 2009, 02:48 PM

well, how should i put this,

lets just say this, in short, if she ever liked you before, she will definitely not distant herself from you

if she distant herself from you, she told you why, to be really honest, i think she value you as a friend, and is really not interested in you

if she continues to distant away from you, just leave her alone, you are not worth her time, and, you should not put so much of your time into her as well, go find someone else...no use harping over someone...=)

well, i really wonder how much she value you before though, if she called you back, there are many things that can change, but lets put that for later...~

This post has been edited by LostWanderer: May 5 2009, 05:38 PM

ok, most likely this will be 99.9% no turning back. it will be forever in the "break" mode, as you have already freaked the girl and you left a creepy impression inside her.

go out, get a new target, but dont freak anyone this time. leave her alone, smile and friendly nod when you see her. sooner or later, you guys will become...normal friend. stop sms her, stop stalking on her. go out and have fun with others.


oh yeah, i understand you have this "but she is this one girl...bla bla...", it is obsession. obsession is bad. it's not love.
i learned from bad experiences and i think there're some books out there confirming my "findings". lmao.

This post has been edited by SpikeTwo: May 5 2009, 07:35 PM

i rarely..i mean it..rarely i sms anybody..unless it like callin ppl out...so..tat the case...i am nt realli good with girls..girls tend to hate me quicker den the speed of light..zzzz

This post has been edited by kirashin: May 5 2009, 08:13 PM

Sometimes it just not abt how well u guys chat together...whether got topic or no topic...did u treat her well?Or when u dun hav topic,u kept ask..u took ur breakfast?took ur lunch?took ur dinner?

It sometimes kinda annoying though...

Haha im so guilty of that sometimes!

I notice alot of my fwen oni know how to ask this kinda stuff...I am not suprise if that girl get bored..

She look at her watch...1pm...beep beep... "Dear,taken ur lunch?"

hmm, honestly, i can see the "pattern" you had written there...it's so "generic" now that it is obvious...but is the above really the best way?...well, it's up to the individual to decide i guess...but yea, i chose the above way anyway...XD


do you think that they hate you or they really hate you?...you really sound like you think that they hate you that's why they hate you i guess...
try to take things lightly and yea, you will see a brighter world i guess...=)

yes. it is so generic and obvious but people still can't see it. the so called blind...

.

This post has been edited by chuanway: Nov 1 2012, 10:06 PM

well, there are a few level of weirdness, i guess, but you know, being too normal is too safe, you won't get your catch anyway, for being both normal or weird

if you went beyond the comfortable level of weirdness, you are creepy
if you don't know how to be "normally weird" you can just say that you both are just "merely" friends

anyway, you can start by observing how others interact, how other couples interact and how you interact with other people and probably you get an idea where to start...=)

im having the exactly same problem. our relation stay for one year, then she starts to ignore me, and tell me not to waste time waiting over her (she having SPM this year). Since then she never sms me again, im kinda hurt. i think she quite selfish, when i having spm, she msg me everyday, but when she having the test this year, she msg me not even once a week, i doubt she felt in love with other...Then i decide, let her off, although i really miss her a lot. MAy be its time for both of us to clam down...

2 words..."let go."

My advice is...do some research on her hobbies, things she like, movies she like to watch, etc.

Then pick up more information on those, you have the internet for goodness sake...we have everything there.

Then once you have lots of info, you can talk to her about that. Everybody loves to talk to someone who share a common hobby.

Heck, you can even try talking about peoples you both know, talk about general news, talk about family...things you seen, places you visited, interesting stories (real or fake also nevermind), etc.

You need to talk more to learn the trick

All the wise/sweet talk in the world wont matter AT ALL when the girl has absolutely NO interest in you.

Damn true. Usually, the key to tackle a girl < age of 25 is NOT to confess first. Don't even go on and drop hints for at least half a year or more. Young girls usually just wouldn't give a crap if she got no interest on you.

To make it short and simple : Start from a friend to a good friend to a couple. That's the safest way, and you can even change your mind if you think she is not right for you.

Remember guys/gals, the more shortcut you take, the more likely you'll fall. Slow and steady beats the race. By being slow and steady you may not guarantee to win her heart, but at least you have time to even look around at the other choices you have. You'll eventually get to know more people through time.

Unfortunately in my case friends first then close frens then confess usually fails, no matter how long I waited, I always ended up being "just a good fren" but then they all avoiding me and vanishes from my life. I did nothing except confess, and NOT in a creepy way.

How do you explain that?

Why 25?

Anyway, I don't know about "slow and steady beats the race", whether the girl is young or old. There's such a thing as being swept off your feet - if it happens to you and the girl you like, then woohoo for you!

Then ur doin it rong.

Seriously, maybe you're just not reading their cues right. If a girl is interested in you, it should be pretty damn obvious - and if she's not, that should also be pretty damn obvious. And you'd only pursue a girl who shows some signs of interest in you, right? You'd only strike at targets with high chances of success, right?

Tackling a girl isn't like climbing a mountain where she's at the top waiting for you. Girls are looking for love and affection too. Unless you're a total hermit, you will someday meet a girl who likes you - as long as you're not a total creep around her.

The msg is pretty clear, just let go...

getting swept off your feet is almost exactly as getting really impressed with your talent, or probably you did something which is really meaningful for her, even helping her to pick up her pen would do, or even just a simple smile (that is she has been longing for that for dunno what reasons, lol)

seriously, that sentence is too objective, and each person has their own "feet sweeping moments", so, to be really exact of the meaning, be yourself and just don't go out of your way to impress her

of course, you need to be around her but not cling on to her for that to happen, as you really don't know when such an event will occur

that is why people always say, enlarge your social circle and just go out and have fun, gather with people, you won't know who might fall for you next...=)

My friend, you're still thinking of love as something that happens only when you make it happen. That you'll find it when you "successfully tackle" her. Like it's a video game with many puzzles and levels, and you need to use the right moves otherwise it's Game Over.

It's not. Seriously, it's not.

Love is something that happens to you.

yea, though luck sitting at home without interacting with anyone and lets see the sky will drop him or her for you...>.<"

i think you don't get what i mean, but i'll try one more time

just live your life as it is but interact with more people, and be a fun person around them, and you might get someone interested in you without you knowing it...=)

is that a better understanding of the statement?

if girls start ignoring you, no chance for friend anymore la, don't waste ur time

No disagreement here.

TS made a mistake..last time it happened to me with the girl i obssesed.. she sense that i acted weired and turn annoying like stalking her and asking much personal questions and too much sms..she avoided me..my good look not really help much to salvage the friendship...in the end ugly guy with big stomach become her bf..i cant believe i lost to fat boy.

second time i fall with another girl..that time i changed my style..i act as a normal friend..and make it as natural as possible. this time i got what i wanted..love is really wonderful ...but believe me love can come and go just like that. and it really suck when we lost the feeling and have to break up.

now i am loveless..i wonder if love will come in my way again

you know what, you should just give her her space and time. Leave her alone for awhile. If you're lucky, she may realize that she misses you talking to her and might wait for you to sms her again. So you stay out of contact with her for a couple of month. Then you try your lucky again by smsing or calling her, just asking how is her and stuff. Just to show you still concern about her well being.

On the meantime, you can keep urself busy with whatever work you can find.

to be really honest, i recommend you not to contact her, but let her contact you, that is if she wants to...

you can have your wishful thinking for her to reply your messages, but honestly, what's your motif behind it?...seriously...~

GG.

tarak reply from TS, he cabut already?

sometimes, as far as we are aiding in one's problem, if the person is not here, and since this is at the forums, it will benefit others as well, don't you agree?...as long as there is facts to the words people are contributing...=)

This post has been edited by LostWanderer: May 7 2009, 11:40 AM

Agreed.

i saw biased view from ts. it's a 1 sided story, but never elaborate what really happened. not to blame ts, but he might not even know he did to the girl was "wrong". it might not apparent to ts, but it is to the girl.

旁观者清，当局者迷。

to be honest, i had fallen into that shoes before as well,

as far as 'wrong' goes, well, i guess it's more like a mistake but actually, one really doesn't need to play avoid in this...but where will things go if the person continues to creep you out, then well, you can reconsider...XD

oh well, if you never make someone avoid you i guess, you will never learn how to attract the correct way, i guess...lol