not sure if thats a pigeon bird or pigeon woman

try look up in urban dictionary got

During a big fire downtown the firemen were having a bit of trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor with her baby.

The fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused.

Things looked grim until a tall, well-built black man burst through the crowd and shouted to the women. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the baby safely.

After a few minutes more of reassurances by the man, the mother finally let the child drop.

The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered. At that moment the man suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and yelled,

"TOUCHDOWN!!"

Italian in Malta
(Must be read with and Italian accent) One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel.

Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma b****. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma b****.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma b****.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma b****.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma b****, I gonna back to Italy.