a pair of genuine alligator shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

Don't quite get this. He needs his computer to surf porn & jerk off?

he needs his computer to live

everyone needs computer to live...

Italian in Malta


(Must be read with and Italian accent) One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel.

Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma b****. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma b****.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma b****.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma b****.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma b****, I gonna back to Italy.

remember listening to this joke long time ago on an swf file... very nice..

Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed? Because he is lying.

What are the two greatest lies? "The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."

What are three words you dread the most while making love? "Honey, I'm home."

Why is it called a Wonder Bra? When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.

aLittleMisfit

Q : what the secret for aLittleMisfit still can post jokes here for 2 years?
A : his wife never surf LYN or he would be dead by now <------------ relation jokes

lol!

Keling pusing how can pl believe?

Ur comments are racist and offensive

where got la.

Get some of this!


Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifertakes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get's her headstuck.

The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to theother:"This is too good to pass up," gets off his horse, unzips his pants and starts f*cking the shit out of this heifer for at least ten minutes.

When he finally finished he looked up to his partner and asked him if he wants some of it. His partner replied "hell yes that looks pretty good", climbs down off his horse drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence.

Haha, brokeback mountain

UFO

A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it.

The woman noticed the letters ''U.F.O.'' printed on the side of the ship.

She turned to the alien and asked ''Does U.F.O. stand for Unidentified Flying Object?''

The alien answered, ''No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!''

doesn't mean its a relationship joke only because it has woman inside

pawn!!!!!

funny as hell. ROFL!!

So this guy goes to the local whorehouse and asks to see the madam. "What can I get for a fiver?", asks the horny but broke guy. The madam beckons the guy to follow her into a room. In the room is a pigeon. Shocked, but unable to contain his lust any longer, paid the madam and had his way with the pigeon.

A week later he returns, broke as before. "What can you give me for 2 bucks?", he shyly asks the madam. As usual, the madam leads the guy, but this time to another room. In it are 5 other men, all looking out the window. Our hero walks up to the window to see what the commotion was all about. He looks and sees a couple doing the nasty in the room across from him.

Turning to the guy next to him, our hero remarks, "Wow, this is great, ain't it?". The guy replies, "You should have come last week, there was this guy doing a pigeon!".....

^lololollolo