What you mean? Those are jokes he found, not his own life la wey

emo or not, i like the gambling 1... crack me up man...

A wealthy American tourist checks into an Irish hotel. Upon his arrival the tiny reception area becomes filled with not only suitcases, but golf clubs, golf shoes, golf umbrellas and several boxes of golf balls.

"Surely now, sir," cried the manager eyeing the baggage with alarm, "there must be some mistake. We`ve no golf course you see and you`ll be finding there`s not one within miles of the place."

"Well now, that`s no problem," replied the tourist. "My wife hates golf, I'm here with an excuse."

Long Time Revenge


The young boy, Billy, is so overjoyed that his family is going to the circus. When they get to the circus they get a good seat right in the front row.

Billy is so happy and the circus clown asks for a volunteer. Billy raises his hand yelling like cute little kids do: "me me me me me"

Well, Bobo the circus clown walks up to little Billy and goes "Hiya kiddo" in that clown voice they have... Billy is so happy and he answers, "HI BOBO"...

Then Bobo says to him, "Well kiddo, are you a donkey?"

And billy playing along says, "Yes Bobo"

Then Bobo goes, "Then you must be an Ass!"

All the people in the circus break out into laughter.

Little Billy is devastated. Everyone was laughing at little Billy.

From that point on, Billy made it his personal mission in life to get back at that clown.

As Billy gets older and starts Junior high all he thinks about are ways to get back at that clown.

He studies clown books and circus books once he reaches high school.

He goes to clown school from High School studying every in and out of being a clown just to one day get back at that clown who ruined his life.

Billy, now Bill, graduates clown school with honors.

Bill then takes martial arts for a year so he is skilled at kicking ass.

Finally the day arrives when Bill decided it was time to get revenge at the clown.

So Billy goes back to that same circus and walks up and sits in the front row just like he did 15 years ago.

Suddenly as he awaits the start of the circus the clowns come out. Dancing around just like usual Bill instantly spots Bobo, the clown.

Bobo jumps around the audience and asks for a volunteer and Bill raises his hand up high...just waiting to be

picked. Bobo walks up to Bill and goes, "Hiya mister... Would you like to volunteer?"

Bill stands up and walks out into the center of the circus and looks right at Bobo the clown and says, "Sure." Bobo the clown then says to Bill,

"Are you a donkey?"

Bill answers, "Yes."

Then Bobo says, "Then you must be an Ass."

And Bill turns all red, the moment he has been waiting for 15 years.

All his training for this one moment... and Bill answers, "f*** You."

that all?fark u?

Hope its not a repost

Little Johnny Failed Math.........................

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" the father asked.

Little Johnny replied, "The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said '6'."

"But that's right!" his father commented.

Little Johnny added, "Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'"

"What's the f*****g difference?" the father asked again.

Then Little Johnny lamented, "That's what I said."

i don't understand


its a repost

dont un the joke leh

Thats a pity

Never mind that, I'll give another shot.


How Life Comes a Full Circle

At age 4, success is… not wetting your pants.
At age 12, success is... having friends.
At age 16, success is... having a driver's license.
At age 20, success is... having sex.
At age 35, success is... having money.
At age 50, success is... having money.
At age 60, success is... having sex.
At age 70, success is... having a driver's license.
At age 75, success is... having friends.
At age 80, success is... not wetting your pants.



Are you Male or Female?

This just proves that we have become too dependent on our computers.

Are you male or female?

To find out the answer, look down...

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Look down, not scroll down you idiot




The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race and it won again.

The local paper read:

'PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT'.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:

'BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS'.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

'NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN'.

The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey. She sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

'NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10'.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the
plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

'NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE'.

The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is ....

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!


Hope they're not repost

i dont get the point either. but i sure did laugh

LOL, damn funny It means that with all the preparation he had, in the heat of the moment he forgot all his schooling and all he could muster was a "f@rk you" haha.... He probably went home and thought, "Damn, I should have done this and said that...."".

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Added on June 16, 2009, 5:22 pmKalau repost, minta ampun tuanku-tuanku...

A young Red Indian boy asked his dad one day:

"Dad, can you tell me why you named big brother 'BIG CLOUD'?", asks the boy.

"Well son, the day he was born, as I left the wigwam I looked up and saw a huge, magnificient cloud, so I decided to name him after that", replies the father.

"Then what about big sister?", asks the boy.

"Well, when she was born, I came out of the tent and looked ahead and saw a wolf howling to the moon, and that's why I named her 'HOWLING WOLF'.

The dad asks his son back, "But why are you asking me this, 'TWO DOGS F*CKING'?..."

This post has been edited by gregy: Jun 16 2009, 05:22 PM

apa u tak ada

Sorry if they're repost

yes yes i succeeded!!!!! yes yes!!! i finish from page 1 to 99!!!! =.="

nice jokessss!!

A 90 yr old man brought his 20yr old wife to the doctor and proudly proclaimed that his wife is pregnant with his child.
The doctor knowing that this is not possible was trying to explain to the old man in the most gentle way possible.

Doctor,' Please sit down and let me tell you a story. There was this old hunter who went hunting with a rifle and an umbrella. While in the jungle an elephant came charging towards him. The hunter then took aim with his umbrella , thinking that its the rifle. A LOUD shot rang out and the elephant was dead on the tracks."

Old man, " That is not possible. Some one else must have shot!".

Doctor," My point exactly."

alamak suddenly a lot of reposts

please search first to keep this thread low in repost

nice one

=.=" the doctor dont give that ah pek is so strong meh... =.=" maybe the 'worm worm' is still very healthy leh...