TS has never once replied to any of my posts, so I'm pretty sure he's deliberately ignoring me. I'm kinda flattered.

But something that's not been mentioned so far is that, from what he's described of his ex, he's been an abusive and controlling boyfriend.

He blames her for wanting physical intimacy. He scolds her about what she wears. He expects her to "live up" to him and his standards. He's more concerned about how she makes him look than how she feels. He expects to buy her obedience with money. He belittles her accomplishments. He calls her weak.

Right now I think this girl slaps herself in the head every morning wondering why she was so stupid to stay with such a guy for so long.

(Also, for a Phd, his england isn't that hot. )



This post has been edited by n00b13: Nov 30 2009, 10:52 AM

meh. trying to improve her, and then loved the girl that you had 'improved' huh?

you just love the image of the girl you wanted her to be, not the girl herself =.=''' SWT

If I were her, I would have left you a long long time ago, when you only spend less than 5% of your time with your girl, chat only 5 minutes per day and not to say being abusive.

You should realise that even if you have all the money in the world, nothing will make a girl love you more if you dun provide her with emotional support.

I myself would have prefer my baby to be there for me always rather than him buying me all the stuffs like facial care and cards and whatever all those things are. P/S: This actually carries another meaning, you dun love how your girl look like huh? Need her to use all the products that you bought for her? zzzzz!


you seriously need to learn the meaning of ACCEPTANCE. It's totally useless you have done you PhD and is good in your business but you dun understand an inkling of what the meaning of love is.


For now, just move on with your RESEARCH and what your daddy ask you to do. Ok? If you think this is not right, then you should know what to do.


P/S: I pity your girl

So, you do not love her actually.

When things in your life seem , almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'




Apply this in your life and there'll be no wrong. We are living in a 2nd world country, competition is everywhere. When people working in Sweden do overtime, their boss will not be happy. They'll wonder why they wanna do OT since there's more to life than work.
We work to live, we do not live to work. Only machines in factories live to work.

This post has been edited by Hammond Tan: Nov 30 2009, 10:56 AM

i read all your replies after mine here & there.
[COLOR=red]
GET ON MOVING STOP RANTING OR HAVING FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR SITUATION~!

HAVE YOU EVER GIVE HER CHANCE TO TALK TO YOU OR MERELY..WORK WORK WORK ?

SHE IS TIRED WAITING FOR YOU FROM YOUR STORY, BUT YOU AINT MAKING THINGS BETTER SAD TO SAY. YOU ARE ASKING US TO BE YOUR DR PHIL

better ask Baronic closed thread here

I love my GF for who she is!

To be frank, I feel you are a bit unrealistic here. It's about life after marriage. Wife and family must be harmonious. I realize that she would not be able to mingle well with my family knowing that she never get used to the activities I do all the while, so I helped her, step by step, to get used to my life style. This is what I felt I must do as a man, otherwise there would be quarrels all the times!

I'm not changing her for the purpose that you suggested! I'm helping her to get well with my family.

Winner, NO.

This is not the way to love a person.

Agreed.
LOLS, if he is still this hard headed, I am pity for his next gf.

I think the things TS said to her and try to teach her somehow affect her self-esteem...being chided for what she's wearing can be quite demoralizing, but can be made up with more motivation and love from TS, which is rather lacking in this relationship.

TS, if u had spared a thought for her u would have seen what u have missed.

She tried hard for u, trying to fit in like u wanted her to, and yet after all these u agreed to a break up without much thought (this really hurts).

She might have thought if u rly loved her u would have seen what she is trying to express from the request of a break up, but instead u agreed to it so fast u must have left her stunned.

umm sorry to say... its your family is you & her. Not Your Dad & Mom with her.

To be harmonious is to accept each other. SINCE WHEN ALL FAMILY IS HARMONIOUS. TOO IDEAL THAT YOU READ FROM BOOKS.

have you ever heard of broken family? have u ever heard of steps family? etc?

issit wife who causes it or the head of family causes it?

your thinking is too much of idealistic not realistic. before & after is 2 different thing. How can it be the same?

before you tried so hard to bond up well with ur family, then again, you think after must be the same.

there will be differences as you both grow up with your family.

You are in family business: how many family business got burned by crisis before if you ever wonder? the graph never straight, there will be always up & down, else you wont call a life journey.

Winner, if you love a person, let her be of who she is, let her does of what she likes.

Do not have to teach her if she doesn't request so. Do not teach her if you sense that she is trying to change herself to suit you.

+1 for intelligence once said before

What have you ever done to get used to her lifestyle? You've never once talked about her - her friends, her family, her interests.

Not. Once.

Ex.

yea, it's all about you and you and you. !!!!
>.<
you darn selfish guy.
Your ex really loves you that she can stay 8 years in a relationship with you.

i cant believe someone who said he is so busy that he cant spend time with his gf BUT be able to mingle in this thread for so long

TS , u never replied my post earlier accurately ... yes u cant change ur dad , so it doesnt mean u can change ur gf ... everyone haf their own interest n attitude ... if its not bad then y change it?

u r really a 100% "kwan kiok zhai" ... u said u r a PhD holder with tons of talks n seminars ... these earn u a decent amount of money ... so y cant u juz work out thr n end sometime with the 1 u said u really loved? y muz u do ur dad's business? y muz u entertain those high end client by protraying ur gf as wat they wan to c but not wat as she is? all i can c is about money and selfishness .... u wan to earn more , u wanna take over ur dad's business , u wan everyone to praise u godlike , u wan everyone around u to pay attention to u , n its not onli ur dad , u urself felt u shud haf better gf n thus u wanna change her into someone u hope she would b ... but alas , changing a human doesnt mean splurge some money for expensive makeover will do the trick ...

instead of changing her into someone she felt so stressed n unhappy , haf u ever think of changing urself? y dun u juz put ur "high class" mind aside? y cant u think for her at least once ? y cant u skip some golf / swimming n allocate these time for her ? if u felt shopping with her is boring , at least bring her for some meals ( u stil hafta eat rite? or the rich doesnt eat? ) ... mayb u could go to her place after work be it late ... i think she'll b happy enuf even if u slump on the couch , resting ur head on her lap ... even when u r juz askin some minor stuff bout her such as how's her day been going ... i bet she'll b happy rather than going to expensive facial treatment ALONE.

u cant change ur dad but u can explain to him y u choose the other path ( if u want ) ... here u juz follow wat is been told n clearly u chose to b a daddy's boy ... in the end , no matter which gf u pick , im sure ur dad will stil say these things to u ... the onli way u will get his blessing is when the gf ur dating is the 1 he chose for u ...

she stayed so long by ur side even u treat her like this , thr is love in her heart .... but for ts , all i can c is selfishness whereby he think he shud haf a gf rather than single bcoz he is so successful ... but all he wans is someone who will make other ppl praise him n jealous of him bcoz he is rich,successful n haf a beautiful "high-class" gf ........ if like this pls go get a HK superstar or models ...

TS ... ur "didi" stil working onot? got go check? get high doesnt mean its alrite ... u might haf pre-mature le ...

This post has been edited by santaclaus: Nov 30 2009, 11:22 AM

wah... tl;dr material..

too chiong hei liao but cant tahan after this "kwan kiok zhai" so idiot but stil thinks he is very good n blame his ex-gf ...

TS wants a trophy wife. End of story.

Girl not a trophy that he can flaunt around his dad and his friends = REJECTED!!!

Whats the point of being a rich man son, earning decent income and study well IF you can't even have your own life?

selfish idiot that is living in denial. I am sure u r smart enough and grown up enough to know about it.

Thanks for this wake up call. Alright the story continues:

Breakup:

It was 12am in NZ, and 7pm in MY.

The stars were twinkling in a velvet sky. Dragging myself to the desk, I made a Skype call.

"Hi dear" I greeted.

"Hi" a soft voice replied.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Let's keep short,"

"No,"

"I though you need rest?" I'm surprised she wanted to talk longer.

"Let's stop it indefinitely," she said softly.

"Are you sick?"

"I need a break," she replied.

"Aright, let's take a short break, I'll call back later," I suggested.

"No,"

"Then, we make it short," I repeated.

"No,"

"Then, what do you want? Sorry, I don't get you" I'm confused.

"I need a break," she repeated.

"Alright, I'll see when I can get back to MY so that we can have a break together, where you want to go for holidays then?... How about a cruise? I know a cruise that goes back and forth between UK and MY."

"No, i don't need a break," she replied.

"Then, what else you want?" I'm extremely confused.

"I need a break between us." she said firmly.

"Alright," I caught her point this time.

"Could I return you the diamond rings?"

"You could donate them," I replied.

"Alright, I'll mail you the proof of payment and receipt.

"Bye"

"Bye"

Yes, frankly speaking, I was foolish enough to agree immediately.

This post has been edited by theWinner: Nov 30 2009, 11:36 AM