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> Dear Employees, LOL!!

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FrozenFir3
post Nov 11 2009, 11:28 PM


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So I'm at work yesterday and the mailclerk starts handing out letters from upper management. At this point, I'm thinking "Oh crap, how am I gonna tell my family I got laid off?" Fortunately, I'm only 29 years old. You'll understand when you read the letter.

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Manager. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can get.

Great, as if I didn't get enough shit already....

This post has been edited by FrozenFir3: Nov 11 2009, 11:31 PM
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Wangan
post Nov 11 2009, 11:51 PM


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hi... dupe
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nkarul85
post Nov 11 2009, 11:53 PM


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this year is 2009 or 2005?

Added on November 11, 2009, 11:57 pm this year is 2009 or 2005?

This post has been edited by nkarul85: Nov 11 2009, 11:57 PM
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Aishinka
post Nov 12 2009, 12:38 AM


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fReqZz
post Nov 12 2009, 10:08 AM


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2012.
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Alvinleong
post Nov 12 2009, 12:12 PM


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QUOTE(Wangan @ Nov 11 2009, 11:51 PM)
hi... dupe
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user posted image

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
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roxxor89
post Nov 12 2009, 02:19 PM


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lol. nice play of words XD
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cavion
post Nov 16 2009, 02:59 PM


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QUOTE(FrozenFir3 @ Nov 11 2009, 11:28 PM)
So I'm at work yesterday and the mailclerk starts handing out letters from upper management. At this point, I'm thinking "Oh crap, how am I gonna tell my family I got laid off?" Fortunately, I'm only 29 years old. You'll understand when you read the letter.

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Manager. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can get.

Great, as if I didn't get enough shit already....
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Lipost
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triad
post Nov 23 2009, 11:10 AM


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blonely
post Dec 3 2009, 10:35 AM


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+10 for above pic!!!
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Fallenangelz
post Dec 3 2009, 05:40 PM


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QUOTE(triad @ Nov 23 2009, 11:10 AM)
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lololol for the pict thumbup.gif thumbup.gif
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atok194
post Dec 3 2009, 06:17 PM


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QUOTE(triad @ Nov 23 2009, 11:10 AM)
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this one win!
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KitZhai
post Dec 4 2009, 01:57 PM


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QUOTE(triad @ Nov 23 2009, 12:10 PM)
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snakevenom
post Dec 4 2009, 03:18 PM


ARGHHHH!!!!!
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QUOTE(triad @ Nov 23 2009, 11:10 AM)
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WIN!!
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gohkokho
post Dec 4 2009, 03:22 PM


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QUOTE(triad @ Nov 23 2009, 11:10 AM)
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Epic! notworthy.gif
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herojack41
post Dec 5 2009, 02:24 PM


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doh.gif who dig this SHIT up
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