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 Sacrifice (A true story of my love), Dont do it in the name of love

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TShelldagger
post Oct 19 2009, 05:28 AM, updated 15y ago

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This is my story.I'm not asking for you guys to help me..just want to write this down..

I know this girl, ereen from IRC 4 years ago after i finished my SPM. The first time we talk, i got interested with her straightaway. In fact, the first time we talk on the phone(which is on the same night) our conversation last for 2 hours. This will sound childish to you guys but before the conversation ended, i asked to be her bf, and she accepted. After that day, we got so hooked up with each other, that every night we will spend 8 hours talking on the phone. We have so many things to talk, and our feelings were so deep even though we have never meet before.

After 1 years and a half, she finished her SPM( we still haven't meet) and her parents sent her to sabah to stay with her relatives for awhile. We still keep in touch like always. however the problem started few weeks later when our time spent together getting lesser by each passing day until one day she said she got feelings for her older cousin, Fakhri. I was so sad but still i decided to stay by her side, and asking her to give me chance to prove my worth in her eyes, to regain her feelings back. I called her every night, trying as hard as i can to get her back. Until one day, when i was at my grandma's house in AU Keramat, she called and asked if i want to meet her or not as she was nearby. After she gave me her aunt's address, I asked my mom and grandma about the address as i knew nothing about that area. It was 1 AM and i walk as fast as i could to reach her place. My heart was pounding so hard as im going to meet her for the first time. When i reached her place, as she opened her door, i felt like time stopped. She was so beautiful, with her long wavy hair and her smiles was simply much much greater that what i have ever dreamed. We started talking like the old us, full of topics to talk about. After half an hour, her phone rang, and it was Fakhri, saying that he wanted to bring her to his place. while she was talking to him, standing and looking outside the window, i hugged her from behind, as i know this might be my last hug ever if she decided to be with Fakhri one day. After she finished talking, i whispered to her ear," how much of your heart that fakhri and i hold?how many percents?" and i cant feel that my tears dropping out. She didnt say anything for awhile, and i felt like waiting for her answer that time was so long,like hours. She muttered " You hold 40% dear, but I'm happy that you are here today." After half an hour, Fakhri came and picked her up.

After few months, suddenly Fakhri started ignoring her for no reason, never even answer her calls or messages, and i know this is my chance.( she was studying in Penang Matriculation this time) After few weeks, she said that maybe this time we can be with each other forever, and i was so happy that i ran from cafe to my room just to tell my best friend about the good news. In September, we decided to meet up and stay at Genting as we got few days of holidays. As she took a late bus and as it's a long trip from penang to KL, i rented a room somewhere nearby Pudu so that she can rest after she arrives. I waited for her for 8 hours in the room, and i cant stop smiling as this time, it was for real. we are going to meet up as couple. That night, I hold her as close as i can to my body,felt like not letting her go forever. The Genting trip simply was so awesome that never for once i left her side.

For the whole time that she spent in matriculation, was our happy time. I visited her every 2 weeks and stayed there during weekend. Never in my lifetime i believed that true love exist, and that time, it seems like it does exist. My parents started complaining as the money i spent was too much, but yet, i don't care as long as i can be with her.( her parent started complaining too.Haha..) If we felt like going to the beach, we will go to Batu Buruk, and walked there. If we feel like watching a movie, we went to Komtar or Gurney Plaza. Basically, it was such a carefree life and never for once we let each of us to be far from each other. In fact she will cry if i wasn't in her hug when she woke up.

May last year, i quit from my study as i know i dont want to be in that course. and while waiting for the time to apply for mass comm( was torn apart between UiTM and Taylor's..in the end, I'm a Taylorian tongue.gif ) i worked as bartender and she went to LKW( i asked her to pursue mass comm as well). The first month she went to LKW, everything was okay. However, history repeated itself as i was so busy with my work, we barely meet anymore. and after that, she changed. Almost everything that i said to her was wrong. all the advices were taken as insults. she treated me so badly that for her, it was okay as long as she can be free from me. I, still holding to the past memories, didnt give up even though we broke up already. She stopped calling, and im the only that was still calling, and ever calls ended up as fights. Until one day, i visited her place in desaria and stayed there for few days. there was a glitch in the 2nd night when i saw her friend, Bobby kissed her while walking on the stairs. i was so sad, and asked her, why did the guy kissed her,and she kept saying sorry,saying that it was all accident as she never thought that bobby will suddenly kiss her. She hugged me and said i love u a lot of times and i forgave her. However, on the last night i stayed there, i found few pics of Bobby kissing her. i asked her whats all that supposed to mean as she never let me touch/contact any girls even though after we broke up( she said that she still love me and bla bla bla) but now there are pics of her getting kissed by a guy. She said she never realized when that pics were taken, and admit she was drunk that time. I felt even worse as she asked me to stop drinking but now, she was drunk..Yet i still forgive her, asking that can she promise me to stop doing all these kind of things and come back to me. She agreed and i thought i saw new light in our relationship.

After few months, her parents decided to send her to London to further her study. We promised each other not to betray each other, and to still keep in touch. for the first few months, it was okay. after the 3rd month, her online time getting lesser and lesser, and one day she just called it off, saying that she got no feelings for me anymore. i begged her, cried, called her several times just to beg her to rethink. She still with her decision.And after a couple of weeks, i stopped and just pray that she might come back. However, even though she asked for breakup, she will still be jealous if im hanging out with some girls. And now, she got a new guy already. saw their pic at her FB profile just now. and now i know, everything is over.all the tears that i dropped, all the patience that i had for her, all went for nothing.

This post has been edited by helldagger: Oct 19 2009, 05:29 AM
t3chn0m4nc3r
post Oct 19 2009, 05:46 AM

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moral of the story:

1) pics tell 1000 words...
2) never try 2 hard on LDR...
3) never hook up wif some1 u barely see...
4) feelings grow more when u meet more... even no feeling also after years of seeing 1 another also will develop feeling...
Dave Lombardo
post Oct 19 2009, 05:49 AM

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There's no such thing as True Love bro.. cheer up move on.
TShelldagger
post Oct 19 2009, 05:58 AM

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QUOTE(t3chn0m4nc3r @ Oct 19 2009, 05:46 AM)
moral of the story:

1) pics tell 1000 words...
2) never try 2 hard on LDR...
3) never hook up wif some1 u barely see...
4) feelings grow more when u meet more... even no feeling also after years of seeing 1 another also will develop feeling...
*
haha

1) em i dont really get this XD
2) i know but when u r in love, u always see the bright side of things tongue.gif
3) but our 3rd year was full of special moment. and somehow, i felt worth waiting for her during the 1st 2 year.
4) haiz thats d saddest part....

lol..a tear rolled down as i wrote this topic..the beautiful memories.. blush.gif
Tsukasa
post Oct 19 2009, 06:10 AM

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Bro,

I understand how you feel as my 1st ex is the same. I felt like I'm nobody after that as I stopped my studies and even let go of my dream scholarship cz of my 1st love.

No worries bro, you will surely one day find the one who trully cherish you. It took me 4 years to finally to forget my 1st love as now I'm studying back to pursue a greater career. Cheer up bro. Everything is not the end yet. Its her who is stupid who left you, not you are the one not working for the relationship.

I know its hard to move on, but hang in there bro, everyone got their ups and downs. But I finally found light again when I'm with my current gf. As she enlightment me that this world still have lots of ppl better than we believe in true love.

Cheer up and hang in there bro. Don't be like me wasted my 4 years time doing nothing wondering around what to do with my life. Buck up and go finish ur study bro. I have lost it once and also my future but luckily cz of it I found my current gf. So work hard in finishing ur degree or any studies you in then concentrate in your work. So that you can provide the best and security to your future true love which I do believe god will reward ppl who work hard rather than dream of she will come back in my life.

Cheer up TS. and all the best bro. I know its freaking hard to forget, but use this as motivation to let you finish your studies quickly and climb up the ladder or do business and you will one day for sure find the one who you deserve more than your 1st love.

Proof her its her lost for she who leave and betray your trust. And show you are a better man now and you deserve someone better than her. Dont let a small hindrance be the wall to your happiness and never do silly things as I almost end my life a few time because of my ex. Never do it, and I know one day for sure you will surely find your true love bro.

Cheer up and move on k. Good luck
SUSRaikkonen
post Oct 19 2009, 07:01 AM

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TS, that's how life is.
Move on.
Take it as an experience in life.

God wants to give you a better one...always believe that.
Deimos Tel`Arin
post Oct 19 2009, 07:50 AM

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@helldagger:
so how are you feeling now?
viper88
post Oct 19 2009, 08:41 AM

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I felt bad for u.
Some girls can say they loves u so so much and wanted to be with u all the times. but when theres some changes, obstacles
in the relationship the easiest way they will opt for is breakoff. These type of girls very emo, attention whoring type and want alot security $$$$ feel ... if they cant get what they want from u... its very hard to maintain the relationship.

Hope u can get thru this. Be strong.

QUOTE(helldagger @ Oct 19 2009, 05:28 AM)
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
*
Deimos Tel`Arin
post Oct 19 2009, 08:55 AM

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QUOTE(viper88 @ Oct 19 2009, 08:41 AM)
I felt bad for u.
Some girls can say they loves u so so much and wanted to be with u all the times. but when theres some changes, obstacles
in the relationship the easiest way they will opt for is breakoff. These type of girls very emo, attention whoring type and want alot security $$$$ feel  ... if they cant get what they want from u... its very hard to maintain the relationship.

Hope u can get thru this. Be strong.
*

those are not true love.

those are gold diggers.

D-Zire
post Oct 19 2009, 10:06 AM

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first love is always very hard to let go. it was for me. i'm still trying to live through it. but everyday the ache in your heart grows a lil less. its only nanobits that it dies down by. but it will slowly get better as you meet more people. and finally realised that the world has so much more girls that are compatible with you that just her. yea you may think that she is the one for you. but i guess u will be wrong and u will realised that down the road.

People used to tell me that "there are plenty more fishes in the sea so why do you keep hanging on on that particular fish?" i thought they were wrong but time proved to me that they were right afterall.

So take time to heal but do not neglect on your studies or whatever that you are doing now. Prioritize your life. When you excel in your life, love will find its way to you.
NickyKhoo
post Oct 19 2009, 10:23 AM

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QUOTE(D-Zire @ Oct 19 2009, 10:06 AM)
first love is always very hard to let go. it was for me. i'm still trying to live through it. but everyday the ache in your heart grows a lil less. its only nanobits that it dies down by. but it will slowly get better as you meet more people. and finally realised that the world has so much more girls that are compatible with you that just her. yea you may think that she is the one for you. but i guess u will be wrong and u will realised that down the road.

People used to tell me that "there are plenty more fishes in the sea so why do you keep hanging on on that particular fish?" i thought they were wrong but time proved to me that they were right afterall.

So take time to heal but do not neglect on your studies or whatever that you are doing now. Prioritize your life. When you excel in your life, love will find its way to you.
*
+1,this is true laugh.gif
move on,Ts.
Cheer!
beecee
post Oct 19 2009, 10:35 AM

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move on
=) chills there a lot of girls out there
happy4ever
post Oct 19 2009, 10:47 AM

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QUOTE(helldagger @ Oct 19 2009, 05:28 AM)
This is my story.I'm not asking for you guys to help me..just want to write this down..
You should start your own blog?
SUSb3rnard7
post Oct 19 2009, 10:58 AM

kanpeki na CHEONGSTER yo!
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TS,...the one who can hurt u...is the 1 which u loved the most.


peakaboo99
post Oct 19 2009, 11:35 AM

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a lesson for u my fren
TShelldagger
post Oct 19 2009, 11:37 AM

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Thanks everyone..well at least i felt better after i wrote that post...so currently im at college,dozing off due to the lack of sleep ytd. she wasnt my 1st gf btw..and for her reputation sake, she is still a virgin. The reason im telling you all this as some of u wondered whether i f***ed her or not. Another thing is, she used to have depression problem, so everytime she emo, throwing stuffs and everything, i know its not entirely her fault, and i guess thats how i cultivate my patience for her.

@Tsukasa: Thanks Bro. I hope all is well between you and your gf..Good luck for your studies as well too. Dont worry, even though im sad, i wont neglect my study.
vicole
post Oct 19 2009, 11:39 AM

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The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.
— Isaac Asimov

TS - You have beautiful story and Im sure you d become a great man in future too. However right now, it is time to move on.
cynthiacassandra
post Oct 19 2009, 11:41 AM

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juz mingling around..
sooner or later.... ~~
TShelldagger
post Oct 19 2009, 11:45 AM

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QUOTE(vicole @ Oct 19 2009, 11:39 AM)
The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.
— Isaac Asimov

TS - You have beautiful story and Im sure you d become a great man in future too. However right now, it is time to move on.
*
thanks vicole.. wow u sure are full of quotes. as i can see ur sig also got quote from socrates smile.gif
silverhawk
post Oct 19 2009, 11:57 AM

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tl;dr



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